Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Academics is the one thing I can say I've been consistently good at my entire life.  Since I was a young girl I always remember having a love for learning.  All throughout high school learning was easy for me and I never really studied.  However, college has changed that, Bible College in particular.  If there's one thing I've studied that I found difficult, it's the Bible.

I would say it's the Bible because anything else you learn is relative, but the Bible is absolute.
It's truths always remain. It's timeless. A masterpiece of not only literature, but storytelling, character development, thick plot lines with great themes interwoven....the Bible is quite the piece of art.  But not only is it that, but it's also the most encouraging thing I've ever read.

Nothing compares to the Bible, nor will it ever. No other writing has authority over my life.  No other book can be as action packed and exciting.  The Bible is the greatest story ever told, and by about 40 different authors. I mean, how amazing is that? From beginning to end I am just in awe of this magnificent story of redemption and love.

Anyway, back to academics.  I've felt rejected many times in my life, but none of which when it came to academics.  Sure, there were people who got more awards than me at the awards banquets each year.  Sure, there were more people who won contests and got awards for those.  Sure, there were students who were the teacher's pet before I was, but that was fine with me.  There are others who have done greater things than I have, and that's fine with me because we all can't be the best. Yet, we all fear rejection. And unfortunately, that's what happened to me.

I've been rejected from many things in life, but it's never been academics.  I've been accepted to any and every college I've ever applied for. I've always had a relatively high GPA. I've never been kicked off sports teams for not doing my homework.  I've never been on any sort of academic probation. 
I've never been rejected from academics until now.... Friday night I came home to a letter from Evangel University saying that I did not get accepted into their Master's Program because of lack of work experience.  I honestly think it's because I've been in retail for the past five years of working, but then again, I still do not see how that wouldn't be applicable to their program.  But it's okay.... at least that's what I'm telling myself.

I don't want to sound like a wailing baby but man....I'm just confused.  I felt like I had prayed about this program enough, got some opinions of people in the program, and ultimately I thought God had confirmed it several times.  I had met someone a few states away while on a trip who just graduated the program and loved it.  One of my close friends was in the program at that time....it all seemed to be falling together. My plan was coming into fruition. However, I'm not so sure of that now. 

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know the One who holds my future.  We may have heard this quote before, but it still rings true.  Right now it seems like the future is looking dimmer by the second, but really it's looking a lot brighter.  Truth be told, I was not looking forward to another 2 years of school because of how burnt out I am.  And who knows, maybe in a few years I will apply to this program and the timing will be right?

My current plans are to take a few more classes this summer to finish out my associates degree and to work at Great Southern almost full time.  I also have a few possible trips coming up to look forward to. After that, we shall see. 

I'm tossing around a few ideas in my mind....but I won't disclose those until God discloses more to me. :)

I know God has a greater plan, but for the time it may be to just work on myself and be happy and healthy where I am at. 

I will wait patiently upon the Lord.

In the mean time, I will share a song I came across a few days ago off Hillsong's new album, "Zion".  The lyrics really touched me, and the song is just great. The melodies and music are just so melodic and relaxing. 



Hillsong, "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" - Zion, 2013
 
 
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
 
 
 


This song just pierced my heart the first time I heard it. It's so beautiful, touching, inspiring, and encouraging. 

When I heard this and see the lyrics it just touches me because God calls us into the waters...where our feet may fail. Where everything is unknown, yet we follow. The oceans are a mystery because of how deep they are and because of how deep God is.  He is but a mystery, yet when he calls to us so lovingly, I can't help but follow. When the world is deep around me, my faith still stands.

Although academics have failed me, God does not. 
Although my friends may fail me, God does not.
Although my faith at times may fail me, God does not.

He still walks with me out on the water...holding my hand, guiding me.

This song is my prayer, "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

I will call upon Your Name. My soul will rest in Your embrace.
I am Yours and You are mine.

I am still loved by God, and He is still mine.
Perfect.