Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Academics is the one thing I can say I've been consistently good at my entire life.  Since I was a young girl I always remember having a love for learning.  All throughout high school learning was easy for me and I never really studied.  However, college has changed that, Bible College in particular.  If there's one thing I've studied that I found difficult, it's the Bible.

I would say it's the Bible because anything else you learn is relative, but the Bible is absolute.
It's truths always remain. It's timeless. A masterpiece of not only literature, but storytelling, character development, thick plot lines with great themes interwoven....the Bible is quite the piece of art.  But not only is it that, but it's also the most encouraging thing I've ever read.

Nothing compares to the Bible, nor will it ever. No other writing has authority over my life.  No other book can be as action packed and exciting.  The Bible is the greatest story ever told, and by about 40 different authors. I mean, how amazing is that? From beginning to end I am just in awe of this magnificent story of redemption and love.

Anyway, back to academics.  I've felt rejected many times in my life, but none of which when it came to academics.  Sure, there were people who got more awards than me at the awards banquets each year.  Sure, there were more people who won contests and got awards for those.  Sure, there were students who were the teacher's pet before I was, but that was fine with me.  There are others who have done greater things than I have, and that's fine with me because we all can't be the best. Yet, we all fear rejection. And unfortunately, that's what happened to me.

I've been rejected from many things in life, but it's never been academics.  I've been accepted to any and every college I've ever applied for. I've always had a relatively high GPA. I've never been kicked off sports teams for not doing my homework.  I've never been on any sort of academic probation. 
I've never been rejected from academics until now.... Friday night I came home to a letter from Evangel University saying that I did not get accepted into their Master's Program because of lack of work experience.  I honestly think it's because I've been in retail for the past five years of working, but then again, I still do not see how that wouldn't be applicable to their program.  But it's okay.... at least that's what I'm telling myself.

I don't want to sound like a wailing baby but man....I'm just confused.  I felt like I had prayed about this program enough, got some opinions of people in the program, and ultimately I thought God had confirmed it several times.  I had met someone a few states away while on a trip who just graduated the program and loved it.  One of my close friends was in the program at that time....it all seemed to be falling together. My plan was coming into fruition. However, I'm not so sure of that now. 

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know the One who holds my future.  We may have heard this quote before, but it still rings true.  Right now it seems like the future is looking dimmer by the second, but really it's looking a lot brighter.  Truth be told, I was not looking forward to another 2 years of school because of how burnt out I am.  And who knows, maybe in a few years I will apply to this program and the timing will be right?

My current plans are to take a few more classes this summer to finish out my associates degree and to work at Great Southern almost full time.  I also have a few possible trips coming up to look forward to. After that, we shall see. 

I'm tossing around a few ideas in my mind....but I won't disclose those until God discloses more to me. :)

I know God has a greater plan, but for the time it may be to just work on myself and be happy and healthy where I am at. 

I will wait patiently upon the Lord.

In the mean time, I will share a song I came across a few days ago off Hillsong's new album, "Zion".  The lyrics really touched me, and the song is just great. The melodies and music are just so melodic and relaxing. 

Hillsong, "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" - Zion, 2013

 

 

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

 

 

 



This song just pierced my heart the first time I heard it. It's so beautiful, touching, inspiring, and encouraging. 

When I heard this and see the lyrics it just touches me because God calls us into the waters...where our feet may fail. Where everything is unknown, yet we follow. The oceans are a mystery because of how deep they are and because of how deep God is.  He is but a mystery, yet when he calls to us so lovingly, I can't help but follow. When the world is deep around me, my faith still stands.

Although academics have failed me, God does not. 
Although my friends may fail me, God does not.
Although my faith at times may fail me, God does not.

He still walks with me out on the water...holding my hand, guiding me.

This song is my prayer, "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

I will call upon Your Name. My soul will rest in Your embrace.
I am Yours and You are mine.

I am still loved by God, and He is still mine.
Perfect.

He Has the Power to Change.

I read a Facebook status a friend posted this morning, and I've been thinking about it ever since.

At first the status makes sense from a worldly persective, but in a Godly perspective I can't say that it does.

Let me first start off by saying how many times I thought I could "become" something new, or someone new...but it never worked. I've tried to change myself so many times in hopes that I could get myself out of this lifelong "rut" I seemed to find myself in.

Day after day.....I remained the same.

You keep saying you want change, but you don't want to do what it takes to get there.
You keep saying you want change, but it's harder work than you ever thought it would be.

"Changing" seems easy, right?
We just want to wake up a new person, somebody else, maybe even someone we're desperately jealous of.
We wake up everyday and change our clothes...
We change our hair....and makeup...
We think we can change everything about us.

I thought I could change everything about myself, but I couldn't.
I tried and tried, but in the end I stayed the exact same person.

We can change our physical appearance.
We can change our name.
We can change the way we do things.
We can TRY and muster up enough energy to completely change everything about us, yet, it will never work.

You would agree that we all desire change, right?
I haven't met one person who is at their most perfect state of being.
I haven't met one person who IS, in fact, perfect.
I haven't met one person who doesn't find at least ONE flaw about them they'd like to change.
I haven't found one person who truly doesn't need to change something about them, we all do.

If you read nearly everyone's New Years resolutions you will see "Be a better person." in the #1 slot.

We all desire change.
We desire to improve ourselves.

The only two questions I would ask are, "How?" and "For who?"

1. How are you going to change yourself?
2. For whom are you changing yourself?

If we answer these questions wrong, we miss the whole point.

See, there has to be a plan for everything....or nothing will work.

Teachers have a curriculum they teach, if they didn't, then they wouldn't be organized and the students in the classroom would learn nothing.

If you want financial freedom, then you have to live on a budget. If you don't form a budget, then you'll never be good with spending your money.

If you want to graduate high school or college then you have to take the right classes at the right times to be on schedule for graduation.

If you want to lose weight you have to workout and eat healthier.

There are plans for everything.

There's also another point I'd like to make... If you don't have a target, you will never make bullseye.
Meaning, if you don't know where you're aiming, how can you expect to hit the target?
You can't.
And it'd be foolish to think it's possible.

To answer question #1: we must have a plan.
To answer question #2: God.

Many people want to change for someone else.
Their boyfriends tell them they're fat...so they want to get in shape, or starve themselves, or make themselves throw up.
Someone tells you you're stupid, so you study hard for a test in hopes of getting back at them spitefully and bragging about how you got the better grade.
Maybe you're dating someone and you say, "He or she makes me want to be a better person."

Well, if I were to be honest with you, all of these are pretty shallow.

You want to better yourself because someone else doesn't think you're good enough. If you truly think about that, it doesn't make sense.

What also doesn't make sense is wanting to change yourself for YOURSELF.
I always hear people say, "I'm not going to change myself for someone else, if I want to change it's going to be for myself."

I've said that before. I've told myself that if I'm going to lose weight, then I'm going to lose it for myself. To look better, to feel better...

How selfish of me.
And you want to know something else? It never worked.

I tried changing myself for a guy and everything I tried failed.
He still didnt' like me.
And I ended up giving him more of myself than I bargained for.
I tried changing everything I could so desperately thinking..."Maybe he will like me now."
And I kept telling myself that over...and over again..

When my motivation was someone else...it didn't work.
When my motivation was myself...it didn't work.
Only when my motivation has been God has it worked.

The answer to question #2: God.

God has been helping me lose weight and get in shape.
God has been helping me get the great GPA that I have.
God has been changing my family.
God has been changing my heart.

Ultimately, God has brought this transformation in my life.
God is the only One who truly has the power to transform us, not ourselves.
We, as mere humans, cannot do it alone.
We have no strength or power compared to that of God's.

If there's any change in your life that needs to be made, I would encourage you to let Christ BE that change you so desperately desire.


His ways are higher than mine.
His knowledge is greater than mine.
If there's anything we should be "changed" into...it's the image of Christ.

So I would ask you to truly think about who you want to "become" and "how" you want to get there.
The Bible gives us the most practical advice on how we need to be changed... on how we can be new creations.
But it's only through Christ that this change can truly occur.

If you struggle with depression, God can change that.
If you hate the way you look, God can change that.
If you hate who you are, God can change that.

Only God can truly help you.
So help yourself by not letting yourself be in control, because you will fail.
But God never fails.

If we want to be transformed, He will transform us if we let him.

It's only when we get to the end of ourselves that we find Christ.
You can continue to try and change yourself, but it hasn't worked yet, and it's never going to.
You just keep banging your head against the wall.

Albert Einstein even said, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results."

If you keep doing the same things over and over again, you're going to get the same results.
If you keep trying to change yourself, it's always going to fail.

If you truly desire change, you'll seek the One who has the power to change.

A Faithful God in 2013.

It's that time of year....New Years resolutions time!
Typically everyone DREADS this time of year because they realize all the things they wanted to accomplish that year and didn't... well, no more of feeling like a failure!
I have a solution that's worked for me for the past 3 years.
And get this, I didn't even know I was accomplishing all of my goals, but by the end of each year, I had.

The key? Write your goals down.
For the past 3 years I have made an extensive list of all the things I wanted to accomplish in the upcoming year, and by the end of that year I had nearly accomplished everything I had written down!

It's crazy to think that 3 years ago one of my goals was "No cursing". God is faithful! Hahaha!
Man...I've grown a lot in the past 3 years and it's awesome to see how faithful God has been to me since I started making these goals.

Here are what some of my goals were. Don't make fun of me...........I was serious at the time of writing these. Looking back now I sort of laugh. Oh, and these are the basic versions. I figured I would spare you the time of reading my in depth, detailed version.. And I'd also spare me the embarrassment...... =]

My goals for 2010 were to:
-Drink more water
-Lose weight
-Be more fashionable
-Wear makeup
-Learn to cook
-No cursing
-Make more friends
-Try talking to boys (ha! This got me into lots of trouble....)
-Get a job.
-Make A's in classes.
-Be more mature
-Show more personality
-Work on self-confidence and not bashing myself.
-Learn to play piano/guitar. 

I ended up accomplishing most of these by the end of that year! AND, after I had written out these goals, I never once looked at this list again until it was time to write my resolutions for the next year.  I then crossed out all of the ones I had accomplished, and kept the ones I still wanted to accomplish.

To this day, I've accomplished more than I ever thought possible, all because I was subconsciously working on these goals throughout the next year.

Write things down. It helps!! Really!

Ways to Improve Myself (2011):
-Lose weight
-Grow hair out
-Work on my wardrobe/image: wear heels, boots, etc, etc, etc.
-Keep trying new makeup
-Learn to cook........STILL.
-Have purer thoughts, tame the tongue, memory verses, daily Bible reading, prayer, etc.
-Expand to more Christian music (Ha! The Lord has redeemed me!)
-Continue to develop self-confidence.
-Journal daily.
-Spend more time with friends and family.
-Work on relationships.
-Mature as an adult, into a woman. (Ha.. )

Ways to Improve Myself (2012):

This year I really challenged myself and realized that you are more likely to accomplish your goals if you write them down! So, I took this year more seriously. And as I read these today, it blew my mind to see that God had faithfully answered all of my goal prayers!! Even the big ones!

-Drink more water, lose weight, less fast food, etc.
-Workout 3x a week.
-Buy better clothes that flatter my body.
-Straighten hair more often.
-Play guitar/piano more often.
-Lead worship at every given opportunity.
-Write some songs.
-Give a lesson.
-Become financially stable.
-Blog more often. (Accomplishing that one right now! lol)
-Restore broken relationships
-Become emotionally stable.
-Be more dependent on God.
-Go to at least 1 concert. (I went to several!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
-Go on a missions trip. (I WON a trip to Baja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God works in CRAZY big ways!)


Man. God is sooo faithful! He helped me accomplish everything I wanted without me even realizing it. And, of course, I have HUGE expectations for this year!

Ways to Improve Myself (2013):
-Make the "Eat to Live" diet a permanent lifestyle change.
-Get down to 150 lbs, or a size 10.
-Run a 5k without stopping.
-Pick up a new sport, hobby.
-Have long hair!!!!
-Deepen my relationship with God.
-A memory verse a day.
-Find a permanent church home.
-Complete the Daniel fast.
-Write at least 3 songs. 
-Meet new people, make new friends.
-Become an expert in finances.
-Find a stable mentor who challenges me.
-Go on another missions trip!
-Graduate CBC!
-Finish my last 2 classes at OTC and graduate there, too!! Hahaha!
-Get accepted into Evangel's MOL program!
-Attain a substitute teaching certificate.


2013 has big expectations! But God has been faithful and steadfast so I figured I might as well try to top the previous years. :)

I pray that if you withstood the dread of reading all my goals, that you would come up with your own goals.
Write them down.
Don't look at them until the end of the next year.
And progressively take steps for a greater and brighter future for yourself.

God can only be as big as our dreams.
Dream big.