I do believe in resolutions for the New Year, but I also know that nobody on earth is perfect at them.
If you plan on working out everyday and fail, just pick up where you left off the next day.
If you plan on drinking more water, yet can't break the caffeine headaches and fall for it over and over again, don't beat yourself up over it.
So, here goes:
1. Can you guess? "Get in shape". Probably the #1 resolution of all time.
My plan:
-Drink more water (I've already gotten pretty good about this, but still needs improvement).
-Workout 3 times a week (Already conquered this, just need more consistency and more planned routines). -Eat a vegetable and fruit with every meal.
-Portion control.
-Almost absolutely no fast food, tone down the Chinese nights as well.
-No late night eating.
-Less dessert (Not a huge dessert fan, but I still need to monitor it. lol)
2. Image/Wardrobe.
My plan:
-Buy more flattering clothes for my body.
-Try to make new outfits out of clothes I already have.
-Try new things.
-Less hoodies.
-Wear makeup everyday.
-Fix hair everyday: straighten more often.
3. Biblical/Spiritual Disciplines.
My plan:
-Memory Verses
-Read the Bible at least 30 minutes a day, uninterrupted.
-Pray without ceasing. Pray more, and more, and more. :)
-Learn to fast.
4. MUSIC!!
My plan:
-Play more. Obviously. lol.
-Get more playing opportunities.
-Write more songs.
-Take lessons again?
5. Have more fun. Whatever that entails.
6. Help others.
7. Love. Love others. Love myself. Love life.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
Being like Job is an honorable job.
Sometimes....you just feel like a Job.
You lose your family, in my case, they move 10 hours away.
You feel like you lose all your possessions, in my case, money.
You just feel like you've lost your home, and honestly, God is the ONLY thing left.
Maybe the cold, dark, dorms are getting to me.
Maybe the loneliness and silence is finally setting in, and it's making me crazy?
Just when you think your life is getting good, it gets bad. Worse than bad.
Sin becomes uncontrollable, your suddenly stop caring about your habits, and you form more bad ones than good ones...
You forget what you're living for.
Until.....
You meet someone who has it worse off, and they're more optimistic than you.
Right now, I feel like ripping my shirt in half, and shaving my head.
I just can't bring myself to do it, laziness seems to be creeping in as well.
Doing nothing shouldn't be this stressful. Christmas break should be a cheerful and joyous time.
It was, but not when you're concerned about a divorce, having no money, waiting to hear back about a job, or falling into the vicious cycle of sin and isolation.
I told my friend I was feeling like a Job lately, and yesterday she called me about a message she heard at church. She said that Job was pure and blameless. The most sinless man on all the earth. God cherished him, and God CHOSE him. God chose Job to be tested by Satan because of all these things. Because of his spirit, his intimate walk with God, and Job's goodness. God agreed to let Satan tempt Job because he knew Job could handle it.
During this "Job" season of your life, maybe God is choosing you. Maybe Satan wants his chance with you so badly, and God is letting him test you.....only because He knows how strong you are. Only because He knows you won't fail or give in. He knows nothing can bring you down, and you draw nearer in times of hardship and trials.
God is calling me to be a Job. When I'm sad and pulling a "Job" pity party, it's really because Job was GREAT, and God KNEW that. Going through a "Job" season is a very honorable thing. God saw Job as worthy enough and strong enough to let him be tested by Satan. Maybe it's the same for you and I.
You lose your family, in my case, they move 10 hours away.
You feel like you lose all your possessions, in my case, money.
You just feel like you've lost your home, and honestly, God is the ONLY thing left.
Maybe the cold, dark, dorms are getting to me.
Maybe the loneliness and silence is finally setting in, and it's making me crazy?
Just when you think your life is getting good, it gets bad. Worse than bad.
Sin becomes uncontrollable, your suddenly stop caring about your habits, and you form more bad ones than good ones...
You forget what you're living for.
Until.....
You meet someone who has it worse off, and they're more optimistic than you.
Right now, I feel like ripping my shirt in half, and shaving my head.
I just can't bring myself to do it, laziness seems to be creeping in as well.
Doing nothing shouldn't be this stressful. Christmas break should be a cheerful and joyous time.
It was, but not when you're concerned about a divorce, having no money, waiting to hear back about a job, or falling into the vicious cycle of sin and isolation.
I told my friend I was feeling like a Job lately, and yesterday she called me about a message she heard at church. She said that Job was pure and blameless. The most sinless man on all the earth. God cherished him, and God CHOSE him. God chose Job to be tested by Satan because of all these things. Because of his spirit, his intimate walk with God, and Job's goodness. God agreed to let Satan tempt Job because he knew Job could handle it.
During this "Job" season of your life, maybe God is choosing you. Maybe Satan wants his chance with you so badly, and God is letting him test you.....only because He knows how strong you are. Only because He knows you won't fail or give in. He knows nothing can bring you down, and you draw nearer in times of hardship and trials.
God is calling me to be a Job. When I'm sad and pulling a "Job" pity party, it's really because Job was GREAT, and God KNEW that. Going through a "Job" season is a very honorable thing. God saw Job as worthy enough and strong enough to let him be tested by Satan. Maybe it's the same for you and I.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Dear Mr.,
Dear Mr.,
I've got this letter I've written to you.
See, I would tell you in person,
but you've got this other girl, you see.
It's not that easy for me.
If you knew me like I wish you did,
then you'd know that I'm sort of into you.
I've met perfection at its finest.
But, you're just the "boy across the way".
If you could have your way,
I'd give myself away.
I'd be in your arms, until my dying day.
But, you're just the "boy across the way".
This letter, here goes...
To you, my dear Mr.,
I wish I knew how much you missed her.
The girl you're with...
She's from the past,
But I guess she's back..
She's got you wrapped around her finger.
A silver, shiny ring..
But how long will your heart linger?
before it gets to me..
We could go away forever.
Forget the world together.
It's not what they say,
It's about the trials we face.
I'd hold your hand when you're feeling blue.
Sip coffee in the moonlight, and talk about Truth.
We'd sit at your table, for hours after ten.
Until curfew comes, then the night must end.
To you, my dear Mr.,
I wish you knew how much I missed you.
It was love at first sight,
When you came through my line.
That day I invited you out for tea,
I looked around the room,
The Lord spoke to me,
"I made him for you".
A voice so clear, so vivid, so true.
The voice I heard was not from you.
I've got this letter I've written to you,
See, I would tell you in person,
but you've got this other girl, you see.
It's not that easy for me.
For you, I'd write a song.
Because with you, nothing seems wrong.
The world's made right.
But it's just my fright, that you'd walk away.
Then again, you're just the "boy across the way".
I've got this letter I've written to you.
See, I would tell you in person,
but you've got this other girl, you see.
It's not that easy for me.
If you knew me like I wish you did,
then you'd know that I'm sort of into you.
I've met perfection at its finest.
But, you're just the "boy across the way".
If you could have your way,
I'd give myself away.
I'd be in your arms, until my dying day.
But, you're just the "boy across the way".
This letter, here goes...
To you, my dear Mr.,
I wish I knew how much you missed her.
The girl you're with...
She's from the past,
But I guess she's back..
She's got you wrapped around her finger.
A silver, shiny ring..
But how long will your heart linger?
before it gets to me..
We could go away forever.
Forget the world together.
It's not what they say,
It's about the trials we face.
I'd hold your hand when you're feeling blue.
Sip coffee in the moonlight, and talk about Truth.
We'd sit at your table, for hours after ten.
Until curfew comes, then the night must end.
To you, my dear Mr.,
I wish you knew how much I missed you.
It was love at first sight,
When you came through my line.
That day I invited you out for tea,
I looked around the room,
The Lord spoke to me,
"I made him for you".
A voice so clear, so vivid, so true.
The voice I heard was not from you.
I've got this letter I've written to you,
See, I would tell you in person,
but you've got this other girl, you see.
It's not that easy for me.
For you, I'd write a song.
Because with you, nothing seems wrong.
The world's made right.
But it's just my fright, that you'd walk away.
Then again, you're just the "boy across the way".
Sunday, December 18, 2011
1 Peter 2:11
1 Peter 2:11...
"Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul."
This verse has been popping out at me the past few days.
I know why, I just don't want to change.
Rather, change is more difficult than my flesh wants to endure.
The world isn't where we live. We do literally, but we have citizenship in heaven with Christ one day. We're foreigners, just passing through life and its different seasons that take us by storm. Most oftentimes, Christians are exiles...in the aspect that we should never feel comfortable where we're at. We will never feel "at home" here on earth. At least, I don't. I long to be with Jesus everyday. Some days I just wish He would rapture me.
Sometimes my flesh gets the best of me. Actually, many times..
I cannot go a day without sinning.
I cannot go a day without praying.
I shouldn't go a day without repenting. Do I? Probably.
To abstain from sinful desires....well, that's like telling us to not live in our skin.
We were made that way....born into a sinful world.
A fallen world around me gets the best of me on most days.
That just means I have to try harder the next.
It's hard to "try" not to sin. You have to watch everything you do, say, and think...
Man. I can barely control my thoughts long enough to train my mind to think about something else.
If I think a bad thought, it's hard to take my mind off it until I've completed the thought. Especially the bad ones.
BUT.....although this is the most difficult spiritual concept to master, in my opinion, it's the most crucial.
"to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul"
WAGE WAR AGAINST YOUR SOUL........
I'm trying to comprehend that.
It isn't something to take lightly, your relationship with God depends on it.
Do I try to abstain from sinful desires? Not always. At times I feel defeated, so when the temptation arises it becomes pointless to try to not sin. It just happens.
However, this is terrible thinking....
Sin wages war against our soul.
It's an ongoing battle, and will be, unless we learn self-control.
Sin is a fleshly desire. A desire withdrawn from the heart.
What's in my heart? It's definitely not as pure as it could be.
Is there junk in there hidden that I need to get out? Definitely.
I'm just thinking about this verse aloud.
It's 1 am, and this is how my thoughts process.
I guess that's what a blog is for? My deepest ponderings.
I'm going to end this by saying that sin can get out of control, it can ruin your life, it can stay hidden forever but pop up in the most inconvenient times. That's normally when you miss out on God's blessing because there's still part of you that you aren't willing to surrender. So, there's part of God that cannot bless you because you haven't been faithful in repentance and abstaining from sinful desires.
Lord, help me.
"Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul."
This verse has been popping out at me the past few days.
I know why, I just don't want to change.
Rather, change is more difficult than my flesh wants to endure.
The world isn't where we live. We do literally, but we have citizenship in heaven with Christ one day. We're foreigners, just passing through life and its different seasons that take us by storm. Most oftentimes, Christians are exiles...in the aspect that we should never feel comfortable where we're at. We will never feel "at home" here on earth. At least, I don't. I long to be with Jesus everyday. Some days I just wish He would rapture me.
Sometimes my flesh gets the best of me. Actually, many times..
I cannot go a day without sinning.
I cannot go a day without praying.
I shouldn't go a day without repenting. Do I? Probably.
To abstain from sinful desires....well, that's like telling us to not live in our skin.
We were made that way....born into a sinful world.
A fallen world around me gets the best of me on most days.
That just means I have to try harder the next.
It's hard to "try" not to sin. You have to watch everything you do, say, and think...
Man. I can barely control my thoughts long enough to train my mind to think about something else.
If I think a bad thought, it's hard to take my mind off it until I've completed the thought. Especially the bad ones.
BUT.....although this is the most difficult spiritual concept to master, in my opinion, it's the most crucial.
"to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul"
WAGE WAR AGAINST YOUR SOUL........
I'm trying to comprehend that.
It isn't something to take lightly, your relationship with God depends on it.
Do I try to abstain from sinful desires? Not always. At times I feel defeated, so when the temptation arises it becomes pointless to try to not sin. It just happens.
However, this is terrible thinking....
Sin wages war against our soul.
It's an ongoing battle, and will be, unless we learn self-control.
Sin is a fleshly desire. A desire withdrawn from the heart.
What's in my heart? It's definitely not as pure as it could be.
Is there junk in there hidden that I need to get out? Definitely.
I'm just thinking about this verse aloud.
It's 1 am, and this is how my thoughts process.
I guess that's what a blog is for? My deepest ponderings.
I'm going to end this by saying that sin can get out of control, it can ruin your life, it can stay hidden forever but pop up in the most inconvenient times. That's normally when you miss out on God's blessing because there's still part of you that you aren't willing to surrender. So, there's part of God that cannot bless you because you haven't been faithful in repentance and abstaining from sinful desires.
Lord, help me.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
End of Semester Blues.
As I wrap up the end of the semester, here are a few of my thoughts:
Final Grades are posted: 4 B's, 2 A's.
So close to perfection...yet so far.
What if I had studied harder for that test?
I regret not doing more, although I am pleased with myself.
I did my best, well, the best I wanted to do.
Receiving A's in my 2 hardest classes!? SUCCESS.
2 Haltom classes, at that!
This just motivates me for next semester!
Here are some other goals for next sem:
Can I pull off all A's? 16 hours is a lot. We'll see.
Can I get a scholarship for next year? I sure hope so.
I have a month off! School starts January 11th.
Man. I have so much time on my hands.....I need activities.
Guitar.
Movies.
Gym.
Living off bagels.
I could get used to this.
Now, to writing letters to my friends (yes, actual paper letters).
Christmas card party coming up soon.
Finish New Year's Resolutions list.
Christmas shopping?
Oh, the best: enjoying Christmas music.
Cheers to the holidays! :)
Final Grades are posted: 4 B's, 2 A's.
So close to perfection...yet so far.
What if I had studied harder for that test?
I regret not doing more, although I am pleased with myself.
I did my best, well, the best I wanted to do.
Receiving A's in my 2 hardest classes!? SUCCESS.
2 Haltom classes, at that!
This just motivates me for next semester!
Here are some other goals for next sem:
Can I pull off all A's? 16 hours is a lot. We'll see.
Can I get a scholarship for next year? I sure hope so.
I have a month off! School starts January 11th.
Man. I have so much time on my hands.....I need activities.
Guitar.
Movies.
Gym.
Living off bagels.
I could get used to this.
Now, to writing letters to my friends (yes, actual paper letters).
Christmas card party coming up soon.
Finish New Year's Resolutions list.
Christmas shopping?
Oh, the best: enjoying Christmas music.
Cheers to the holidays! :)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Girl Who Wasn't Afraid to Meet Me.
The smell of popcorn down the hall.
Belches heard from across the room.
A hint of cinnamon rolls gives it away...
You drink expired Dr. Pepper.
The weight lifts are calling your name at midnight.
Math problems get the best of you.
You must be my friend.
I couldn't live without you.
A messy room, cluttered for all to see.
Your lips so soft, it must be the bee's knees.
Painted nails, and painted canvas.
Burning Spanish incense.
A little, a lot...
I think you're so hot.
If you were a boy, I'd date you.
Coffee....coffee....cofffeeeeee......
You're an addict for sure.
I wouldn't have it any other way,
Because you are so cool.
I will miss you once you leave me.
Going off to another school.
I'll think of all things happy,
Just knowing you was like wet drool.
Boys....boys....boys....
You help me beat them up.
The crying nights, the petty fights.
We know we're better than them.
Girly movies, and frivolous nights.
The security camera was never out of sight.
Finance class and chapel mass...
I'll picture you in the near past.
Forever and ever, you'll always be.
The girl who wasn't afraid to meet me.
Belches heard from across the room.
A hint of cinnamon rolls gives it away...
You drink expired Dr. Pepper.
The weight lifts are calling your name at midnight.
Math problems get the best of you.
You must be my friend.
I couldn't live without you.
A messy room, cluttered for all to see.
Your lips so soft, it must be the bee's knees.
Painted nails, and painted canvas.
Burning Spanish incense.
A little, a lot...
I think you're so hot.
If you were a boy, I'd date you.
Coffee....coffee....cofffeeeeee......
You're an addict for sure.
I wouldn't have it any other way,
Because you are so cool.
I will miss you once you leave me.
Going off to another school.
I'll think of all things happy,
Just knowing you was like wet drool.
Boys....boys....boys....
You help me beat them up.
The crying nights, the petty fights.
We know we're better than them.
Girly movies, and frivolous nights.
The security camera was never out of sight.
Finance class and chapel mass...
I'll picture you in the near past.
Forever and ever, you'll always be.
The girl who wasn't afraid to meet me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
A New Level.
I feel like God is calling me to a new level of holiness.
He's calling us all to take deeper steps in our relationship with him.
This thought as been brewing for awhile...
I just never knew what God wanted me to do.
"How can I be more holy?"
"Make me more like You."
This was all I knew to pray.
It hit me in Aural Theory I. The teacher asked if anyone wanted to pray before class started, one person raised their hand. I thought, "Wow. We're in a group of future ministers, pastors, and worship leaders and nobody wants to pray....." I thought to myself, "Our hands should just be flying in the air! We should be eager to pray for our fellow classmates and brothers and sisters in Christ. Why aren't we?" The next class my hand shot up.
The same thing happened in finance class....."UGH. Why doesn't anyone want to pray?" I thought we were more spiritual than that, better yet, I thought prayer had more meaning and eagerness than what showed up in class that day. "Who wants to pray for class today?" Nobody....long pause.....5 seconds go by.....the teacher stares at us..... That happens everyday. Of all places, at Bible College!? And nobody wants to pray? Jeez. Maybe I'm being harsh about this, but I'm venting about the entire semester. ALL semester it's been this way. I figured more people would want to step up and be leaders. I decided as an upperclassman, this is my initiative to take.
So...I go to chapel and right after worship I hear God speak to me. He was angry.
He said, "Why do you keep picking up past sin!?" Angry. But, He's right. He always is.
Shoot, He knows me better than I know myself. I immediately have all these thoughts of what exactly I'm letting back into my life. God's already redeemed me. Why am I picking these things up again? Music. Movies. TV in general.
I've thrown away all my bad music.
I've given up bad habits, and formed excellent ones.
I've formed standards and boundaries.
I've started telling the truth. The absolute truth. The bitter truth. The ugly truth.
"Why do you keep picking up past sin!?"
Paul says in Romans 6, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin, how can we live in it any longer?" I felt bad. Then grace poured out on me. I didn't understand or feel grace for the longest time. Grace is almost unexplainable until you FEEL it. Until you experience it. Until you're grateful for it. Someone got up on stage and prayed God's grace over us, and an immediate peace and joy filled me. Jesus paid for my sin on the cross a long time ago. There's no guilt or condemnation involved. And if there is, I haven't been rebuked out of love.
My hope is that if you're struggling with sin, know that Jesus died for it. We are dead to sin, but very much alive in Christ. Ask for the Holy Spirit's strength and boldness to overcome sin and temptation. Take every thought captive and learn self-control. This the ultimate sign of spiritual maturity. When you can control your flesh and desires. And when you're weak and cannot control them, grace abounds. Accept it, but don't live in it.
Peace and blessings to you.
He's calling us all to take deeper steps in our relationship with him.
This thought as been brewing for awhile...
I just never knew what God wanted me to do.
"How can I be more holy?"
"Make me more like You."
This was all I knew to pray.
It hit me in Aural Theory I. The teacher asked if anyone wanted to pray before class started, one person raised their hand. I thought, "Wow. We're in a group of future ministers, pastors, and worship leaders and nobody wants to pray....." I thought to myself, "Our hands should just be flying in the air! We should be eager to pray for our fellow classmates and brothers and sisters in Christ. Why aren't we?" The next class my hand shot up.
The same thing happened in finance class....."UGH. Why doesn't anyone want to pray?" I thought we were more spiritual than that, better yet, I thought prayer had more meaning and eagerness than what showed up in class that day. "Who wants to pray for class today?" Nobody....long pause.....5 seconds go by.....the teacher stares at us..... That happens everyday. Of all places, at Bible College!? And nobody wants to pray? Jeez. Maybe I'm being harsh about this, but I'm venting about the entire semester. ALL semester it's been this way. I figured more people would want to step up and be leaders. I decided as an upperclassman, this is my initiative to take.
So...I go to chapel and right after worship I hear God speak to me. He was angry.
He said, "Why do you keep picking up past sin!?" Angry. But, He's right. He always is.
Shoot, He knows me better than I know myself. I immediately have all these thoughts of what exactly I'm letting back into my life. God's already redeemed me. Why am I picking these things up again? Music. Movies. TV in general.
I've thrown away all my bad music.
I've given up bad habits, and formed excellent ones.
I've formed standards and boundaries.
I've started telling the truth. The absolute truth. The bitter truth. The ugly truth.
"Why do you keep picking up past sin!?"
Paul says in Romans 6, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin, how can we live in it any longer?" I felt bad. Then grace poured out on me. I didn't understand or feel grace for the longest time. Grace is almost unexplainable until you FEEL it. Until you experience it. Until you're grateful for it. Someone got up on stage and prayed God's grace over us, and an immediate peace and joy filled me. Jesus paid for my sin on the cross a long time ago. There's no guilt or condemnation involved. And if there is, I haven't been rebuked out of love.
My hope is that if you're struggling with sin, know that Jesus died for it. We are dead to sin, but very much alive in Christ. Ask for the Holy Spirit's strength and boldness to overcome sin and temptation. Take every thought captive and learn self-control. This the ultimate sign of spiritual maturity. When you can control your flesh and desires. And when you're weak and cannot control them, grace abounds. Accept it, but don't live in it.
Peace and blessings to you.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
25 Things to Be Thankful For.
So...everyone is posting things to be thankful for and I haven't been keeping up with the countdown everyday this month. However, this is my list... :)
I am thankful for/that...
1. Jesus saved me. Lord knows we're all so undeserving and unworthy, yet He loves us anyway.
2. Visiting family. Some people are staying in the dorms over Thanksgiving break, and I'm thankful my home is just 30 minutes away. I'm also thankful my parents get to visit from South Dakota and my uncle is coming from Texas. I'm thankful for a great future sister-in-law, and I'm thankful that my brother and I are nearly best friends for the first time since we've been born. I'm thankful for both sets of grandparents being alive and well, and the coolest aunt ever.
3. Bible school. I do not know where I would be if I wasn't here. Probably chasing some money making degree that I would still be unhappy with. I'm thankful for a greater call on my life. It's an honor that God would choose me to proclaim His Word.
4. Friends. I have lots of friends, few best friends. I'm thankful for all of them. I cherish different things about each and every one of them, and I have different types of conversation with each and every one of them. So unique, and fun. For all of my broken and unrestored friendships out there, I'm sorry I failed you. I'm not perfect, and I don't try to be. Maybe God will bring us around to each other again someday. And maybe then, He'll have taught me how to better cater to your needs.
6. My job. I write for The Voice (school newspaper), and work the concession stand at basketball games. It doesn't sound like much money, and it's not, but it's fun. I am currently looking for a job with set weekly hours, but God still provides in every situation.
7. Freedom. I'm thankful I live in the U.S. and have many more freedoms than other countries have. Freedom to worship. Freedom of speech. A freeing government (more so than Communist countries).
8. MUSIC!!!! I'm so thankful God gave us the creativity for music. I love singing music, dancing to music, playing music, and writing music. I may not be good at every one of these, but I'm learning. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn all the intricate details that make music so enjoyable to listen to. I'm thankful that I was raised on a wide variety of music genres.
9. Technology. Where would we be without it? So convenient, yet addictive, but it gets the job done. In a hurry.
10. Food. This should probably be #2, I almost love it that more than my parents. haha. What can I say? We can't live without it. So much variety. So many textures. So many food groups. I'm thankful that I'm cutting back on fast food and soda. I'm thankful for water, and our creativity to milk a cow. I'm thankful that food brings about such fellowship and good conversation. It's one thing that EVERY person has in common.
11. Mentors/Teachers/Professors. I'm thankful for my mentor. I'm thankful for teachers and counselors. I'm especially thankful for the awesome ones at CBC! I'm thankful for anyone who speaks life into me. That someone would take the time to care about my life and what I'm doing with it. Someone who gives advice and guides me into better knowledge of God. Thank you for handling me. I know it's hard.
12. Emotions. I'm thankful that humans aren't robots. We're all magnificently different. I'm thankful for our many different emotions. Although they do get in the way sometimes, I'm thankful for the many different ways we express them. Art, music, etc.
13. My dorm. I'm thankful for shelter. I'm thankful for a place of peace, a place I can go to at the end of the day to rest and relax. I'm thankful for my bed and the furniture already placed in it. I'm thankful I get to decorate it however I want and I rearrange it whenever I want. I love my room.
14. Chapel. I'm thankful for great worship leaders here at CBC! I'm thankful for the talent and leadership skills it takes to get up in front of people and belt out your heart to God. I hope to be a great worship leader one day, but not only that, I hope to be great at leading people into worship because I myself have learned to worship freely.
15. The Beauty of Nature. I'm thankful God is so creative. The world can be a beautiful place.
16. Church. I'm thankful for a body of Christ that's so warming and accepting. I'm thankful for a place that uplifts and encourages you in your walk with God. I'm thankful for people who are there when you need them. I'm thankful God manifests himself in giving us different gifts used to edify one another.
17. Exercise/Sports! I'm thankful for the strength and energy they give you. I'm thankful for the ability and coordination it takes to learn a sport. It makes you feel good and look great.
18. Clothes. I'm thankful for the colors, styles, and brands. So much to choose from. Can't forget my addiction to shoes. Clothes and shoes can be expensive, and I'm blessed to have what I do have. Most importantly, underwear.
19. Books. I'm thankful for the intelligence that comes from them! All the interesting topics to choose from. I'm thankful I have access to a Bible, and it's not illegal.
20. Ministers. Pastors. Christians. Missionaries. Leaders. These are some of the hardest positions one could have. I admire and aspire to be great at all of these.
21. Money. We couldn't survive without it.
22. Schedules. I couldn't manage my life without one.
23. Free time. I'm thankful for the moments I have to myself, to just sit and think, and ponder the meaning of life. To evaluate my heart, and process my emotions. The freedom to just pass time doing something fun. Those are rare in college.
24. Joy. I'm glad we can experience deep joy in our hearts. I'm thankful that in the deepest, darkest times in our lives, we can be intimate and vulnerable with God and still feel joy. Happiness comes and goes based on life's circumstances, but joy is more deeply rooted in knowing Christ's promises and rewards once we reach heaven.
25. Last, but most important: Love. I'm thankful for the ability to love, and the depth of love. The intimacy, and intricacy of love. I'm thankful for the feelings and emotions loving people leaves you with. I'm thankful for the love I appreciate from others. I'm thankful love never fails, never hurts, always perseveres and trusts. There is nothing bad about love, and it's a universal language that everyone speaks. <3
Be thankful.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Let the Worship Lead You...
So...this week I got to lead Junior Class chapel worship. Probably the most fun and exciting thing I've ever done. I've never been more nervous about anything else in my life. Probably because nothing is more important than worship. My job was to lead the people into the presence of God.
I contemplated music selection for 3 weeks. What songs to play?? Better yet, what songs to LEARN. There are only a few songs on guitar that I'm pretty great at playing. It was helpful to have a friend help me too. He played piano and sang, which helped me feel more confident about the whole thing, especially with only practicing together twice. Two instruments + two voices = an awesome melodic set. We played "No Sweeter Name" by Kari Jobe, "Wrap Me In Your Arms" by Gungor, and "I Will Exalt You" by Hillsong Live.
I've never played guitar in front of a lot of people, and I've never been on a worship team before so this experience was so very scary. I'm not too confident in my singing abilities, as it is the least musical thing I can do. Plus, I only play guitar in my room....or in a practice room, never in public. Such a huge step out of my comfort zone, especially when in front of your whole class!
Man, was I nervous. When I got up there my guitar strap came off, luckily we were praying and nobody really saw it. lol. I felt like the next 15 minutes of my life were going to be awful. I started us off with strumming, the piano came in, and singing...and it went almost perfectly after that. I sort of mess up on "Wrap Me In Your Arms" because I learned that song during our 2 practices. haha. It was ok though. I'm sure any non-musical person wouldn't have noticed. ;)
When it came to my song....I played the intro like 3 times before I actually got up enough courage to sing into the microphone. It was so weird hearing my voice! It sounds way better in a microphone, more clear, pristine. BUT, that means I hear more mistakes. This isn't good because I'm too critical of myself already...
I hate my voice....just putting this out there. I'm petrified when I go to my professional voice lessons, and they never help. I just get more nervous and clam up. Sweaty palms, shaking voice, heck, I barely sing half the time. I more so just hum and barely open my mouth, praying that what comes out is nice... But, lots of people gave me compliments on my voice and said it was very pretty. I must have a hearing problem. haha. OR, God made them hear a different sound coming out of that microphone that what was actually going into it. haha.
All in all, I'm glad I did this. I am better at music than I thought I was. I was brave, bold, and did something I've always wanted to do. I definitely feel blessed afterwards, and especially with this talent that God doesn't give to everyone. It's time to put the shyness away, because life in the world can be very painful if you're shy all the time. I know, I may not seem like a shy person, but I'm one of the most sensitive and vulnerable people I know. I enjoy my comfort zone, but recently I've worked on expanding it. And it feels good. I even considered trying out for the school musical, but decided I didn't have time. I can only imagine how much more I would have improved and grown in doing it. Oh well..
Especially when for the past 2 weeks or so I've never felt closr to giving up on music. Selling my guitar. I put my piano away in my room. My career as a musician was already over before it even began.
Just like the lyrics say,
"Because you're with me,
I will not fear"
Ironic.
I contemplated music selection for 3 weeks. What songs to play?? Better yet, what songs to LEARN. There are only a few songs on guitar that I'm pretty great at playing. It was helpful to have a friend help me too. He played piano and sang, which helped me feel more confident about the whole thing, especially with only practicing together twice. Two instruments + two voices = an awesome melodic set. We played "No Sweeter Name" by Kari Jobe, "Wrap Me In Your Arms" by Gungor, and "I Will Exalt You" by Hillsong Live.
I've never played guitar in front of a lot of people, and I've never been on a worship team before so this experience was so very scary. I'm not too confident in my singing abilities, as it is the least musical thing I can do. Plus, I only play guitar in my room....or in a practice room, never in public. Such a huge step out of my comfort zone, especially when in front of your whole class!
Man, was I nervous. When I got up there my guitar strap came off, luckily we were praying and nobody really saw it. lol. I felt like the next 15 minutes of my life were going to be awful. I started us off with strumming, the piano came in, and singing...and it went almost perfectly after that. I sort of mess up on "Wrap Me In Your Arms" because I learned that song during our 2 practices. haha. It was ok though. I'm sure any non-musical person wouldn't have noticed. ;)
When it came to my song....I played the intro like 3 times before I actually got up enough courage to sing into the microphone. It was so weird hearing my voice! It sounds way better in a microphone, more clear, pristine. BUT, that means I hear more mistakes. This isn't good because I'm too critical of myself already...
I hate my voice....just putting this out there. I'm petrified when I go to my professional voice lessons, and they never help. I just get more nervous and clam up. Sweaty palms, shaking voice, heck, I barely sing half the time. I more so just hum and barely open my mouth, praying that what comes out is nice... But, lots of people gave me compliments on my voice and said it was very pretty. I must have a hearing problem. haha. OR, God made them hear a different sound coming out of that microphone that what was actually going into it. haha.
All in all, I'm glad I did this. I am better at music than I thought I was. I was brave, bold, and did something I've always wanted to do. I definitely feel blessed afterwards, and especially with this talent that God doesn't give to everyone. It's time to put the shyness away, because life in the world can be very painful if you're shy all the time. I know, I may not seem like a shy person, but I'm one of the most sensitive and vulnerable people I know. I enjoy my comfort zone, but recently I've worked on expanding it. And it feels good. I even considered trying out for the school musical, but decided I didn't have time. I can only imagine how much more I would have improved and grown in doing it. Oh well..
Especially when for the past 2 weeks or so I've never felt closr to giving up on music. Selling my guitar. I put my piano away in my room. My career as a musician was already over before it even began.
Just like the lyrics say,
"Because you're with me,
I will not fear"
Ironic.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
In my darkest night, You shine as bright as day.
So.. I feel like I'm on the brink of a breakthrough.
That also means that the enemy comes at you with even stronger temptations and distractions.
It's been a rough week or so. A very deep and dark time. I'm not really sure what's come over me. Just a loss of hope and sadness. How many of you know that GOD IS BIGGER THAN THAT!!?
I was listening to the same worship music this morning that I always listen to, and "You Are Good" by Bethel Live came on. I sang the lyrics like I normally would, but it's like God suddenly threw them in my face.
"Nothing and no one comes
Anywhere close to you
The earth and oceans deep
Only reflect this truth
And in my darkest night
You shine as bright as day
Your love amazes me"
Repeat: "And in my darkest night, You shine as bright as day. Your love amazes me."
I felt like, "Duh, Sarah". Even in our darkest days, God shines as bright as day. I was standing by my sink getting ready when suddenly I felt God's brightness just overwhelm me. I was in awe for a few seconds. God's light was bright, but not only that, it was also warm. It's almost like when the sun rises in the morning and the second it peeks over the edge of the earth, everything is lit in one flashing sweep. God's brightness just peeked over the edge of my darkness. It encapsulated it entirely. There was no more darkness, and for a brief second I felt like God was saying these lyrics directly to me.
There is no darkness that will ever overwhelm God's light.
God's light is brighter than the brightest light bulb.
God's warmth isn't just a physical warmth, it's a comforting peaceful one.
The song also goes,
"With a cry of praise my heart will proclaim
You are good, you are good
In the sun or rain my life celebrates
You are good, you are good"
In the sun or rain, we still celebrate God's light, and His greatness.
That also means that the enemy comes at you with even stronger temptations and distractions.
It's been a rough week or so. A very deep and dark time. I'm not really sure what's come over me. Just a loss of hope and sadness. How many of you know that GOD IS BIGGER THAN THAT!!?
I was listening to the same worship music this morning that I always listen to, and "You Are Good" by Bethel Live came on. I sang the lyrics like I normally would, but it's like God suddenly threw them in my face.
"Nothing and no one comes
Anywhere close to you
The earth and oceans deep
Only reflect this truth
And in my darkest night
You shine as bright as day
Your love amazes me"
Repeat: "And in my darkest night, You shine as bright as day. Your love amazes me."
I felt like, "Duh, Sarah". Even in our darkest days, God shines as bright as day. I was standing by my sink getting ready when suddenly I felt God's brightness just overwhelm me. I was in awe for a few seconds. God's light was bright, but not only that, it was also warm. It's almost like when the sun rises in the morning and the second it peeks over the edge of the earth, everything is lit in one flashing sweep. God's brightness just peeked over the edge of my darkness. It encapsulated it entirely. There was no more darkness, and for a brief second I felt like God was saying these lyrics directly to me.
There is no darkness that will ever overwhelm God's light.
God's light is brighter than the brightest light bulb.
God's warmth isn't just a physical warmth, it's a comforting peaceful one.
The song also goes,
"With a cry of praise my heart will proclaim
You are good, you are good
In the sun or rain my life celebrates
You are good, you are good"
In the sun or rain, we still celebrate God's light, and His greatness.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
The Final Goodbye.
"This is my final goodbye"...
I've heard this 3 times so far.
Apparently, there is no such thing as a "final goodbye", at least not in this scenario anyway.
You didn't give me a chance to tell you how I feel. You just said, "drop it". "How can I just drop something like this?", "You realize that nothings gonna change. You need to just move on with your life." Great. Well, thank you. I do believe I have changed over the past few years, I mean, how could you not? 3 Years is a long time to be stagnant, if it's even possible. Everything changes. Everyday something changes. Society changes. Our emotions change how many times a day? My theme here is "change".
So, maybe you do need a change of pace, and a need for space. I get it. BUT, I don't expect you to be someone you're not, and I like you for being YOU. You shouldn't expect me to be something I'm not either...because it's unhealthy. Right? That's what you said.
I just feel like you can't run away from something so easily. You said you'd never leave, but "never" is one of those absolute commitments. But, what is commitment to you? Wait, you know nothing about this word. The only thing you're committed to is yourself. I know I'm selfish too sometimes, but you're selfishness is ruining everything. It makes sense that you left God so long ago...because God despises selfishness.
I'm not sure what happened...but one weekend said it all.
You leave, come back, and suddenly you end it.
I feel like you broke up with me...even though we never really had anything going on in the first place. I guess that's what happens when you get so close to someone over so long of time. I'm not sure who said something to you, or what exactly they said to you, but I find it sad that ONE person can change your perspective and tell you what to do...and you listen to them. They only person who has that much influence in my life is God. But you are listening to another voice.
I feel like this is all stupid. But I'm not taking it personally. I respect your decision. Sometimes I can be overwhelmingly clingy, and annoying. I really do understand that. Wanting space is something we all go through. You said you were "b.s.-ing" me for the past two months... I'm not really sure what that means, but that probably explains why you've been rude and insulting to me a lot more.
I'm making the most of my life. I'm in the best place I could be. I have the best life I could ask for. You say you're happy, and if I made you happy then you wouldn't leave.. I guess that's not true.
I just don't get why we can't make this work? We have to know what we're doing wrong before we can make changes. The "change" I spoke of earlier. Maybe you need to figure things out..and I have to let you go do that. I deserved a better reason and explanation. You wished me well. I couldn't utter a word. Shocked in confusion. I'm not sure I know how to get over this, but healing will come quick. It has before. I pray God finds you one day. He will add more meaning to your life than I will. I feel bad for getting in the way of things. I'm sorry you lost hope in our friendship and ultimately in me.
So be it. "The Final Goodbye".
I've heard this 3 times so far.
Apparently, there is no such thing as a "final goodbye", at least not in this scenario anyway.
You didn't give me a chance to tell you how I feel. You just said, "drop it". "How can I just drop something like this?", "You realize that nothings gonna change. You need to just move on with your life." Great. Well, thank you. I do believe I have changed over the past few years, I mean, how could you not? 3 Years is a long time to be stagnant, if it's even possible. Everything changes. Everyday something changes. Society changes. Our emotions change how many times a day? My theme here is "change".
So, maybe you do need a change of pace, and a need for space. I get it. BUT, I don't expect you to be someone you're not, and I like you for being YOU. You shouldn't expect me to be something I'm not either...because it's unhealthy. Right? That's what you said.
I just feel like you can't run away from something so easily. You said you'd never leave, but "never" is one of those absolute commitments. But, what is commitment to you? Wait, you know nothing about this word. The only thing you're committed to is yourself. I know I'm selfish too sometimes, but you're selfishness is ruining everything. It makes sense that you left God so long ago...because God despises selfishness.
I'm not sure what happened...but one weekend said it all.
You leave, come back, and suddenly you end it.
I feel like you broke up with me...even though we never really had anything going on in the first place. I guess that's what happens when you get so close to someone over so long of time. I'm not sure who said something to you, or what exactly they said to you, but I find it sad that ONE person can change your perspective and tell you what to do...and you listen to them. They only person who has that much influence in my life is God. But you are listening to another voice.
I feel like this is all stupid. But I'm not taking it personally. I respect your decision. Sometimes I can be overwhelmingly clingy, and annoying. I really do understand that. Wanting space is something we all go through. You said you were "b.s.-ing" me for the past two months... I'm not really sure what that means, but that probably explains why you've been rude and insulting to me a lot more.
I'm making the most of my life. I'm in the best place I could be. I have the best life I could ask for. You say you're happy, and if I made you happy then you wouldn't leave.. I guess that's not true.
I just don't get why we can't make this work? We have to know what we're doing wrong before we can make changes. The "change" I spoke of earlier. Maybe you need to figure things out..and I have to let you go do that. I deserved a better reason and explanation. You wished me well. I couldn't utter a word. Shocked in confusion. I'm not sure I know how to get over this, but healing will come quick. It has before. I pray God finds you one day. He will add more meaning to your life than I will. I feel bad for getting in the way of things. I'm sorry you lost hope in our friendship and ultimately in me.
So be it. "The Final Goodbye".
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
In Transit.
So...I'm in transit. Well, transition, that is.
I'm on the "church hunt".
What a shame it would be to go to Central Bible College and to only have ONE view of what church looks like. How church is. Not knowing different types of worship, and what different congregations look like.
I feel like my options are limited where I'm at.
I've been in the same church since I started going to church for the first time in my life since I was 16. Lots of good memories and discipling happening. Recently I've been going to a different church a lot, feeling the ultimate transition about to happen. Just waiting on timing. But, lately I've been feeling so much tension with that decision too.
Which leads me to this...confusion.
Church should not be confusing.
Developing a habit of church hopping isn't good, but I think it makes us more open minded to the exposure of varieties of churches. Almost like potatoes. There are soo many different forms of potatoes, and they're alll delicious. Baked. Twice baked. Hashbrowns. Scalloped. Mashed. Red. Sweet. Grilled...and my favorite, fried.
Church should have variety. Varieties of people. Ages. Colors. Music. Cultures. Diversity.
I guess I know what I'm looking for now...
Every year CBC has the Church Expo day, which was yesterday.
I went...searching for something that would "fit" and be the new place I call my "church home". I go to a few booths, and I feel like each one had divine tendencies. The first church I knew the College and Career pastors and that would for sure be a SICK C&C group to be in. Fo sho. I knew the niece of the second church's pastors. However, it wasn't until I was eating by myself, in a rush to get to class, that the pastor from another church sought me out.
THEY SOUGHT ME OUT!!! Like, they came over, introduced themselves, and seriously talked me into attending their church. I was sold at the simple fact that she went out of her way to chat with me. AND, she just so happened to tell me her church has everything to offer me. I'm sure they all say this, but I had a list of specifics in my mind going into the cafeteria that day.
1. Spanish is still a calling on my life. Whether that be missions, music, translation. Who knows. It's my heritage and I really want to get into it. I've always wanted to attend a Spanish church, but it was simply a dream that I'd never considered actually doing. It wasn't until working for AG Headquarters doing Fine Arts that I deeply felt impressed to accomplish this. While finishing registration forms for a Spanish church, I felt like, "man. I could really do this one day."
2. Music. Pretty obvious one...but what if you combine Spanish AND music. Man, that'd be great. I'm not that great at music yet. I mean, I can play a little piano, know a few chord progressions and keys on guitar, and TRY to sing...but I'm not proficient in any of these to actually audition for anything. UNLESS someone would be willing to teach me, then I'm a fast learner and could be useful. Until then, I'll just continue my Music and Aural theory studies until I learn something. lol.
3. I want something completely different than what I'm used to. I want to attend a thriving church with LOTS of kids my age who are in school or studying music, or just have similar interests.
So..the lady from Life360 Iglesia del Pueblo church pretty much sold me.
She begged me to go to her booth and get her information, while giving me lots of free stuff. What more could I want? haha.
I wrap it up and begin walking away. She says, "I'll see you Sunday at 4". I reply, "Ok. See you then!". She says, "Seriously.. you better be there." Me, "haha. I will! I want to try out your church. Can I do music? Or is that even a possibility". Her reply, "We will talk about it after service." Big smiles. I left happy.
She sought me out.
I felt like someone actually wanted me at their church.
I haven't felt like that since I got saved.
Best part: Church service is at 4pm on Sundays. Perfect. I can get homework and laundry done, and even attend another church for morning service if I really wanted.
I'm looking forward to this....I pray God will clearly let me know if this is His direction for me or not. It couldn't feel more right...
As far as Wednesdays and other Sunday services, I will probably still go to the same church I just started going to recently. We will see what happens. :D
I'm on the "church hunt".
What a shame it would be to go to Central Bible College and to only have ONE view of what church looks like. How church is. Not knowing different types of worship, and what different congregations look like.
I feel like my options are limited where I'm at.
I've been in the same church since I started going to church for the first time in my life since I was 16. Lots of good memories and discipling happening. Recently I've been going to a different church a lot, feeling the ultimate transition about to happen. Just waiting on timing. But, lately I've been feeling so much tension with that decision too.
Which leads me to this...confusion.
Church should not be confusing.
Developing a habit of church hopping isn't good, but I think it makes us more open minded to the exposure of varieties of churches. Almost like potatoes. There are soo many different forms of potatoes, and they're alll delicious. Baked. Twice baked. Hashbrowns. Scalloped. Mashed. Red. Sweet. Grilled...and my favorite, fried.
Church should have variety. Varieties of people. Ages. Colors. Music. Cultures. Diversity.
I guess I know what I'm looking for now...
Every year CBC has the Church Expo day, which was yesterday.
I went...searching for something that would "fit" and be the new place I call my "church home". I go to a few booths, and I feel like each one had divine tendencies. The first church I knew the College and Career pastors and that would for sure be a SICK C&C group to be in. Fo sho. I knew the niece of the second church's pastors. However, it wasn't until I was eating by myself, in a rush to get to class, that the pastor from another church sought me out.
THEY SOUGHT ME OUT!!! Like, they came over, introduced themselves, and seriously talked me into attending their church. I was sold at the simple fact that she went out of her way to chat with me. AND, she just so happened to tell me her church has everything to offer me. I'm sure they all say this, but I had a list of specifics in my mind going into the cafeteria that day.
1. Spanish is still a calling on my life. Whether that be missions, music, translation. Who knows. It's my heritage and I really want to get into it. I've always wanted to attend a Spanish church, but it was simply a dream that I'd never considered actually doing. It wasn't until working for AG Headquarters doing Fine Arts that I deeply felt impressed to accomplish this. While finishing registration forms for a Spanish church, I felt like, "man. I could really do this one day."
2. Music. Pretty obvious one...but what if you combine Spanish AND music. Man, that'd be great. I'm not that great at music yet. I mean, I can play a little piano, know a few chord progressions and keys on guitar, and TRY to sing...but I'm not proficient in any of these to actually audition for anything. UNLESS someone would be willing to teach me, then I'm a fast learner and could be useful. Until then, I'll just continue my Music and Aural theory studies until I learn something. lol.
3. I want something completely different than what I'm used to. I want to attend a thriving church with LOTS of kids my age who are in school or studying music, or just have similar interests.
So..the lady from Life360 Iglesia del Pueblo church pretty much sold me.
She begged me to go to her booth and get her information, while giving me lots of free stuff. What more could I want? haha.
I wrap it up and begin walking away. She says, "I'll see you Sunday at 4". I reply, "Ok. See you then!". She says, "Seriously.. you better be there." Me, "haha. I will! I want to try out your church. Can I do music? Or is that even a possibility". Her reply, "We will talk about it after service." Big smiles. I left happy.
She sought me out.
I felt like someone actually wanted me at their church.
I haven't felt like that since I got saved.
Best part: Church service is at 4pm on Sundays. Perfect. I can get homework and laundry done, and even attend another church for morning service if I really wanted.
I'm looking forward to this....I pray God will clearly let me know if this is His direction for me or not. It couldn't feel more right...
As far as Wednesdays and other Sunday services, I will probably still go to the same church I just started going to recently. We will see what happens. :D
Friday, July 8, 2011
Evictions, Court Dates, and Rap Music.
From the very title of this blog....you have reason to believe I'm backsliding. HA!
That's what you think.......it very well may possibly be true. Who knows. I don't. But what I do know is that all of these make for an interesting blog. So here goes:
Happy 4th of July!! Yay for freedom. I enjoyed waking up to a text saying "We have to move out." Made. My. Day. Especially if you knew how fancy the place I was moving from, and how NOT fancy the place I'm going to is.
Last week I'm swimming in a rich lady's pool....
This week my bathroom door falls off the wall and breaks my ceiling fan.
Wowza.
So...eviction. Probably one of Satan's genius ideas to get people angry at the world. Just a guess. The best part? Is that I've been praying for an opportunity, and who knew that God would place you right in the center of that. Literally.
Next big thing: COURT!! The beloved judicial system of this country..
Which kind of goes along with the whole "Happy 4th of July!" theme I'm going for.
If I may preach for a second:
Freedom isn't free. Soldies fight for our country, and we support them. We may not support the war they're in, but still. The price for our sin....wasn't free. Our soldiers step in and fight for us, and Jesus stepped in and fought for us. Basically, walking into a court room is just like walking into church. At least that's how it felt..
You walk in.
Huge pews.
Some sort of crowd: big or small.
Awaiting judgment.
The judge walks in...
You stand in respect, and be quiet.
He calls your name.
You plead guilty.
He charges you a fine...which is virtually a slap on the hand compared to what you deserve.
Then you leave.
Some people...have different destinations. When you leave the court room, based on what your charge was and what you plead, you are lead to a different room, or to the payment clerk so you can pay and leave.
I felt nervous and scared at first....
I'd never done this. Or knew what to expect.
But when it came time for the judge to call my name, I felt peace.
I would go up there, tell him what happened, how I got in a car accident, then pay and leave.
That's exactly what I did.
When Jesus calls your name, and judgment day comes...I'm sure it will be something like this.
Where does the rap music come in?
Well...when I became a Christian I threw away all my rap and hip hop music. "Bad" music, right? Well. I think that was the moment I lost who I was. So much time invested and searching....I identified with it. Then I threw it away. To follow Jesus, and be more holy. And to listen to more "holy" music. Because "Christian" music makes you more holy, right?
Well...my perspective on this is changing. How can anything creative be labeled "good" or "bad"? It's merely self expression.. God gives us creativity, and Christian music could DEFINITELY be more creative. I mean, why the HECK has Lady Gaga taken over the universe?? Clearly there are some songs, or artists that just don't measure up. And my mind is opening up to this idea again...the way it did before God radically changed my life.
Art is abstract to me again.
Music = enjoying life.
If I want to have a drink, I will. I'm old enough, and can control it.
If I want to hang out with sinners, I will.
Why should we limit ourselves? I've felt sooo limited and self restricting for SO long. TOO LONG.
This is no longer acceptable. I can express myself however I want to.
Listening to a certain genre of music, doesn't make me any less "holy" than any other church goer. Having a drink doesn't make me an alcoholic. Dancing, or "rhythmic movement" if you're a Christian, doesn't make me a loser.
Ok...I'm done venting. I have other words...but this sounds like a ramble.
I just think ministry would be more effective if we INCLUDED ourselves into more worldly things merely because we can use it to relate to the lost. Let's not ISOLATE ourselves from half of the world and not be able to reach them.
Don't think I'm "promoting sin". I'm merely saying that before I gave everything up, I could relate to more people. Now, I haven't led one person to Christ (that I know of, only God truly knows). Why is this?
Just something to think about..
That's what you think.......it very well may possibly be true. Who knows. I don't. But what I do know is that all of these make for an interesting blog. So here goes:
Happy 4th of July!! Yay for freedom. I enjoyed waking up to a text saying "We have to move out." Made. My. Day. Especially if you knew how fancy the place I was moving from, and how NOT fancy the place I'm going to is.
Last week I'm swimming in a rich lady's pool....
This week my bathroom door falls off the wall and breaks my ceiling fan.
Wowza.
So...eviction. Probably one of Satan's genius ideas to get people angry at the world. Just a guess. The best part? Is that I've been praying for an opportunity, and who knew that God would place you right in the center of that. Literally.
Next big thing: COURT!! The beloved judicial system of this country..
Which kind of goes along with the whole "Happy 4th of July!" theme I'm going for.
If I may preach for a second:
Freedom isn't free. Soldies fight for our country, and we support them. We may not support the war they're in, but still. The price for our sin....wasn't free. Our soldiers step in and fight for us, and Jesus stepped in and fought for us. Basically, walking into a court room is just like walking into church. At least that's how it felt..
You walk in.
Huge pews.
Some sort of crowd: big or small.
Awaiting judgment.
The judge walks in...
You stand in respect, and be quiet.
He calls your name.
You plead guilty.
He charges you a fine...which is virtually a slap on the hand compared to what you deserve.
Then you leave.
Some people...have different destinations. When you leave the court room, based on what your charge was and what you plead, you are lead to a different room, or to the payment clerk so you can pay and leave.
I felt nervous and scared at first....
I'd never done this. Or knew what to expect.
But when it came time for the judge to call my name, I felt peace.
I would go up there, tell him what happened, how I got in a car accident, then pay and leave.
That's exactly what I did.
When Jesus calls your name, and judgment day comes...I'm sure it will be something like this.
Where does the rap music come in?
Well...when I became a Christian I threw away all my rap and hip hop music. "Bad" music, right? Well. I think that was the moment I lost who I was. So much time invested and searching....I identified with it. Then I threw it away. To follow Jesus, and be more holy. And to listen to more "holy" music. Because "Christian" music makes you more holy, right?
Well...my perspective on this is changing. How can anything creative be labeled "good" or "bad"? It's merely self expression.. God gives us creativity, and Christian music could DEFINITELY be more creative. I mean, why the HECK has Lady Gaga taken over the universe?? Clearly there are some songs, or artists that just don't measure up. And my mind is opening up to this idea again...the way it did before God radically changed my life.
Art is abstract to me again.
Music = enjoying life.
If I want to have a drink, I will. I'm old enough, and can control it.
If I want to hang out with sinners, I will.
Why should we limit ourselves? I've felt sooo limited and self restricting for SO long. TOO LONG.
This is no longer acceptable. I can express myself however I want to.
Listening to a certain genre of music, doesn't make me any less "holy" than any other church goer. Having a drink doesn't make me an alcoholic. Dancing, or "rhythmic movement" if you're a Christian, doesn't make me a loser.
Ok...I'm done venting. I have other words...but this sounds like a ramble.
I just think ministry would be more effective if we INCLUDED ourselves into more worldly things merely because we can use it to relate to the lost. Let's not ISOLATE ourselves from half of the world and not be able to reach them.
Don't think I'm "promoting sin". I'm merely saying that before I gave everything up, I could relate to more people. Now, I haven't led one person to Christ (that I know of, only God truly knows). Why is this?
Just something to think about..
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Craziest week of my life.
So...let me first start off by saying that sometimes your life just feels like a car wreck. In fact, it's literal at times.
Last week I got in an accident which totaled my car. 2 other SUV's involved, and old woman who fled the scene. (I constantly question old people driving, no offense, but seriously.)
Forwarning: this note could be a little pessimistic....until the end. :) Bare with.
Let's start at the beginning..
Last week my mom was just saying how she wouldn't have vacation for another year because of the new job she was about to get. :( I was sad. Then, the next day I get a text at work saying, "Are you gonna come visit me today!?" My reply, "In South Dakota, no!" To my surprise, they'd driven overnight and would be seeing me when I got off work that evening. Yay!
To my dismay, I get in a car wreck the next day. Way to ruin it, Sarah.
Actually, the accident wasn't entirely my fault. Yes, I blame the old lady who pulled out in front of the 2 SUV's that I rear ended. I LOVE the fact that she DROVE AWAY like a proper old lady would do. Yes. Thank you. (I'm a little bitter. Can you tell?)
Anyway, I feel like I ruined the ONE weekend my parents would be down for the next year. That's 365 days. And that's a long time. Especially if nothing good happens in the time they're here. Well. Nothing "fun", rather. I am grateful that they were here, just so they wouldn't be worrying about me while they're 10 hours away. Also, I had no idea what to do about being in a car accident, and I have no idea what steps to take to deal with something of such parameters.
Side note: my phone charger isn't working, and my parents spend a small fortune getting me a new smart phone (and waiting in line for hours to get it), as well as paying towing fees, and such. Not to mention paying for my summer school class that started this week too.
Basically. Long weekend. Little time with them, BUT the time I did spend with them, it was talking about the accident, and how to fix this mess. Running to the insurance company, to the car smasher, and back and forth between family's houses. Oh, and spending ALL DAY in the emergency room waiting for me to get xrays and scans on my neck and chest. Great fun!!!! (sarcasm)
The weekend ends....my parents leave...probably in a worse state than when they got here. :/ On their way home they receive a call from work saying that they were shutting down the side of the plant that my stepdad works on. He'll be out of work for the next week. They tell him to just stay home. IF ONLY they had gotten that call before they were 8 hours into their 10 hour trip....life could have been better. Instead, they got home to an empty house, feeling like that was probably the least relaxing "vacation" of their life.
We could have had another week together......and it could have been a happier less stressful one.......we were all upset. What's even more upsetting is waking up the next day to hear that a great aunt had passed away. IF ONLY they had gotten that phone call sooner, they could have attended the funeral. Since they were already back home, it's expensive to turn right around and come back.
UGH. At this point....I felt like dying....which is ironic with a car wreck and whatnot. Bruised chest. (air bag didn't deploy), and a neck rash from the seatbelt (similar to a carpet burn). Soreness. And just moping in the "soreness" of life. If you will.
Now, the application part:
What I've learned from all of this...
1. Time spend with family is cherished. No matter what you're doing. At the end of the day you were surrounded by people who love you. Even if you deal with a car crash and death in the same weekend.
2. Life is precious. I was talking to my grandma after the wreck. I said that if I had died I would be with Jesus right now instead of dealing with all of this. She said, "It wasn't your time." This may sound dumb...or obvious....but Sarah...wake up. Life has meaning, no matter how terrible it seems. How treacherous it seems. How difficult it seems. There MUST be SOME lesson God is teaching me. And I think it's to learn how to deal with trials. I've never been good at this. I'd rather cry like a baby than deal with life. We're all victims of life. Sometimes it really feels like that but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. That's what I learned. Also, there's an odd "coincidence" (if you will, for lack of a better word. I know "Christians" don't believe in such, they believe in "divine appointment". Still.) that my parents just so happen to be in town when I get in a wreck. How convenient on my end. Also, the 2 other SUV's involved were from my hometown. I KNOW. How crazy is that. My parents actually knew them....
3. A Bible is the best gift anyone could ever receive. You can argue...but I won't. It's true. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, so when my mom visited this weekend and was searching through my room for a Bible, I figured this is a prime opportunity to get my mom a nice Bible. With her name on it. That I designed and picked out. In the midst of all this distress, one thing remains. Stands strong, and is forever faithful: God. I hope she finds that out too. (I bought my roommate one also).
I'm expecting big things........God's at work already. Now we wait.
4. Friendships end. They come and go like the sun and moon. It's one of the saddest realities I've faced the past few years. Most definitely. What stinks the most is that you've tried so many times to make something work and it just doesn't. It never will, but you keep trying. You love them, and are wearing yourself thin by trying to invest in a lost cause. Love isn't a lost cause, but the situation is...
There is nothing else on this earth worth living for except love. Nothing. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling you get when you love someone. It can be the best feeling, but when the love is lacking it can be the worst....most dreadful, deepest pain any human can go through emotionally. And it lasts much longer than any physical pain..
So...how will I apply this to my life? Well. Good question.
I plan on loving without getting hurt in the process.
Watching what I do, and what others do. (mainly old lady drivers). My grandma said I need to watch for grey hair and wrinkles. (this will probably make me wreck faster next time). lol
Enjoy your family. Even the bad moments with them.....
Finally, enjoy your life. Enjoy living. Enjoy the air you breathe. The times you just sit on the couch and relax. The times you think you're "bored". Don't dread going to work the next day. Drink water. Eat healthier. Have more control over your emotions, the situation and atmosphere around you. Have a refreshed and renewed mind every morning when you wake up. Laugh more. Even at other people. Sometimes it helps. :) Accomplish things. Don't be lazy, but motivated. Be intellectual. Think deep. Be happy.
Just some thoughts to help deal with life.....even if it does feel like a car wreck.
Last week I got in an accident which totaled my car. 2 other SUV's involved, and old woman who fled the scene. (I constantly question old people driving, no offense, but seriously.)
Forwarning: this note could be a little pessimistic....until the end. :) Bare with.
Let's start at the beginning..
Last week my mom was just saying how she wouldn't have vacation for another year because of the new job she was about to get. :( I was sad. Then, the next day I get a text at work saying, "Are you gonna come visit me today!?" My reply, "In South Dakota, no!" To my surprise, they'd driven overnight and would be seeing me when I got off work that evening. Yay!
To my dismay, I get in a car wreck the next day. Way to ruin it, Sarah.
Actually, the accident wasn't entirely my fault. Yes, I blame the old lady who pulled out in front of the 2 SUV's that I rear ended. I LOVE the fact that she DROVE AWAY like a proper old lady would do. Yes. Thank you. (I'm a little bitter. Can you tell?)
Anyway, I feel like I ruined the ONE weekend my parents would be down for the next year. That's 365 days. And that's a long time. Especially if nothing good happens in the time they're here. Well. Nothing "fun", rather. I am grateful that they were here, just so they wouldn't be worrying about me while they're 10 hours away. Also, I had no idea what to do about being in a car accident, and I have no idea what steps to take to deal with something of such parameters.
Side note: my phone charger isn't working, and my parents spend a small fortune getting me a new smart phone (and waiting in line for hours to get it), as well as paying towing fees, and such. Not to mention paying for my summer school class that started this week too.
Basically. Long weekend. Little time with them, BUT the time I did spend with them, it was talking about the accident, and how to fix this mess. Running to the insurance company, to the car smasher, and back and forth between family's houses. Oh, and spending ALL DAY in the emergency room waiting for me to get xrays and scans on my neck and chest. Great fun!!!! (sarcasm)
The weekend ends....my parents leave...probably in a worse state than when they got here. :/ On their way home they receive a call from work saying that they were shutting down the side of the plant that my stepdad works on. He'll be out of work for the next week. They tell him to just stay home. IF ONLY they had gotten that call before they were 8 hours into their 10 hour trip....life could have been better. Instead, they got home to an empty house, feeling like that was probably the least relaxing "vacation" of their life.
We could have had another week together......and it could have been a happier less stressful one.......we were all upset. What's even more upsetting is waking up the next day to hear that a great aunt had passed away. IF ONLY they had gotten that phone call sooner, they could have attended the funeral. Since they were already back home, it's expensive to turn right around and come back.
UGH. At this point....I felt like dying....which is ironic with a car wreck and whatnot. Bruised chest. (air bag didn't deploy), and a neck rash from the seatbelt (similar to a carpet burn). Soreness. And just moping in the "soreness" of life. If you will.
Now, the application part:
What I've learned from all of this...
1. Time spend with family is cherished. No matter what you're doing. At the end of the day you were surrounded by people who love you. Even if you deal with a car crash and death in the same weekend.
2. Life is precious. I was talking to my grandma after the wreck. I said that if I had died I would be with Jesus right now instead of dealing with all of this. She said, "It wasn't your time." This may sound dumb...or obvious....but Sarah...wake up. Life has meaning, no matter how terrible it seems. How treacherous it seems. How difficult it seems. There MUST be SOME lesson God is teaching me. And I think it's to learn how to deal with trials. I've never been good at this. I'd rather cry like a baby than deal with life. We're all victims of life. Sometimes it really feels like that but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. That's what I learned. Also, there's an odd "coincidence" (if you will, for lack of a better word. I know "Christians" don't believe in such, they believe in "divine appointment". Still.) that my parents just so happen to be in town when I get in a wreck. How convenient on my end. Also, the 2 other SUV's involved were from my hometown. I KNOW. How crazy is that. My parents actually knew them....
3. A Bible is the best gift anyone could ever receive. You can argue...but I won't. It's true. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, so when my mom visited this weekend and was searching through my room for a Bible, I figured this is a prime opportunity to get my mom a nice Bible. With her name on it. That I designed and picked out. In the midst of all this distress, one thing remains. Stands strong, and is forever faithful: God. I hope she finds that out too. (I bought my roommate one also).
I'm expecting big things........God's at work already. Now we wait.
4. Friendships end. They come and go like the sun and moon. It's one of the saddest realities I've faced the past few years. Most definitely. What stinks the most is that you've tried so many times to make something work and it just doesn't. It never will, but you keep trying. You love them, and are wearing yourself thin by trying to invest in a lost cause. Love isn't a lost cause, but the situation is...
There is nothing else on this earth worth living for except love. Nothing. Nothing will ever compare to the feeling you get when you love someone. It can be the best feeling, but when the love is lacking it can be the worst....most dreadful, deepest pain any human can go through emotionally. And it lasts much longer than any physical pain..
So...how will I apply this to my life? Well. Good question.
I plan on loving without getting hurt in the process.
Watching what I do, and what others do. (mainly old lady drivers). My grandma said I need to watch for grey hair and wrinkles. (this will probably make me wreck faster next time). lol
Enjoy your family. Even the bad moments with them.....
Finally, enjoy your life. Enjoy living. Enjoy the air you breathe. The times you just sit on the couch and relax. The times you think you're "bored". Don't dread going to work the next day. Drink water. Eat healthier. Have more control over your emotions, the situation and atmosphere around you. Have a refreshed and renewed mind every morning when you wake up. Laugh more. Even at other people. Sometimes it helps. :) Accomplish things. Don't be lazy, but motivated. Be intellectual. Think deep. Be happy.
Just some thoughts to help deal with life.....even if it does feel like a car wreck.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A Roommate Kinda Love.
You know you love your roommate when...
You find a snake in your room, and the next day she leaves you a love letter on your pillow with chocolates beside it. Love me some chocolate. :)
She expresses her love by burning you a "Best Love Mix" album. The first track being "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. ;)
She rearranges to meet your needs. Even if you don't notice until a week later.
She helps plan your barbecue celebration for getting a new job!! And buys stuff for it! And makes invitations.
She knows what's important to you.
She's there when you need her. And she gives you even more than you could ever ask for. She takes care of you, and you love spending time together. She makes a house feel like home. When you don't have one. <3
You find a snake in your room, and the next day she leaves you a love letter on your pillow with chocolates beside it. Love me some chocolate. :)
She expresses her love by burning you a "Best Love Mix" album. The first track being "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. ;)
She rearranges to meet your needs. Even if you don't notice until a week later.
She helps plan your barbecue celebration for getting a new job!! And buys stuff for it! And makes invitations.
She knows what's important to you.
She's there when you need her. And she gives you even more than you could ever ask for. She takes care of you, and you love spending time together. She makes a house feel like home. When you don't have one. <3
Thursday, May 26, 2011
If You've Grieved, You Truly Loved.
When you love someone....you just can't let it go. You never will. That's why it's "love". It never fails. Always perseveres. It never disappoints, and is always enough. We may not FEEL like it's enough, but feelings are deceiving. I've felt depressed for most of my life after high school. In fact, there was a time when I didn't even feel like getting out of bed that day. Instead, I'd rather just lay there and cry. Dying seemed like the only way out, and a very good option at that. I'd never have the guts to actually kill myself, or cause myself pain in any way. I hate pain, and I hate having to endure it.
Grieving....the gut wrenching feeling you get when you hear that certain someone's name, think about them, have a flashback, or a memory continually repeat itself...
Such a heavy burden you almost fall to your knees..
You love them so much, that you want every part of their life but there's nothing you can do about the life they're living. Well...I imagine that's how Jesus feels sometimes. I know God is hearing my thoughts, seeing my actions, and hearing my words and He's probably got some interesting thoughts about them.
I fall short of the glory of God everyday....I always will.
I'll never be enough, but still He wants me.
I'm so unloving and unkind, and down right selfish. But he still loves me back. Even when I don't desire him. Why? Because He's so merciful and faithful. Man. If you truly grasp this thought it's soooo profound.
God....the Almighty....Creator of heaven and earth, divine healer, Alpha and Omega, why don't people want this amazing love!!!?? I just don't get it. To go from sensing death everyday of your life, to basking in the love that feels like a ray of sunshing beating on your entire body. It's the best feeling in the world. Better than I would imagine sex to be. Better than winning the lottery. Better than sipping a martini in a hammock, or anything else this world could ever try to offer me.
.....Sometimes it just doesn't feel like it's enough. And recently I've figured out why. "Why Sarah, why isn't Jesus enough for you?" I couldn't figure it out. BUT, it hit me. Jesus isn't enough for me, because I don't LET HIM BE. I think to myself about all these things I want God to do for me, when really, I don't just be still and let God be God. We stress ourselves over trying to control things we have absolutely no pull on. We're paranoid about finances, and if we'll ever run outta money. We're obsessive about the opposite sex, and finding a mate.
WHY?
Well...usually when there's an element missing from our spiritual lives, it's probably ourselves. If I'm just not getting anything from daily Bible reading, it's probably because I'm taking myself out of it and not truly listening, absorbing, memorizing. It's because I'm looking for the blessing. It's because I want something from God....with a bad motive. Selfishness. Pride.
We'll never be good enough for God. My whole life that's how I felt. But although everyone else rejects and hurts you because you're not enough. God says He wants us FOR that very reason. He came to take the pain away. And He does. With a love so divine, nothing else could ever compare.
Have you ever just been staring off into space and you start crying? For no reason? Ok, maybe that's just me....but you realize God loves you. How could anyone love me? Nothing can separate us from the love of God. There's such a strong bond between Creator and creation, we're MADE to experience that in a relationship with Christ. That IS why He created us, to love us.
Man....I'm deep thinking tonight.
Back to love... if you grieve someone, you truly loved them. That's all there is to it. On late nights like these it comes back to creep on ya. It creeps up, and before you know it you're stuck missing them for the next few days. You love them. You always will. Maybe it's not in God's plan, but loving others is.
Grieving....the gut wrenching feeling you get when you hear that certain someone's name, think about them, have a flashback, or a memory continually repeat itself...
Such a heavy burden you almost fall to your knees..
You love them so much, that you want every part of their life but there's nothing you can do about the life they're living. Well...I imagine that's how Jesus feels sometimes. I know God is hearing my thoughts, seeing my actions, and hearing my words and He's probably got some interesting thoughts about them.
I fall short of the glory of God everyday....I always will.
I'll never be enough, but still He wants me.
I'm so unloving and unkind, and down right selfish. But he still loves me back. Even when I don't desire him. Why? Because He's so merciful and faithful. Man. If you truly grasp this thought it's soooo profound.
God....the Almighty....Creator of heaven and earth, divine healer, Alpha and Omega, why don't people want this amazing love!!!?? I just don't get it. To go from sensing death everyday of your life, to basking in the love that feels like a ray of sunshing beating on your entire body. It's the best feeling in the world. Better than I would imagine sex to be. Better than winning the lottery. Better than sipping a martini in a hammock, or anything else this world could ever try to offer me.
.....Sometimes it just doesn't feel like it's enough. And recently I've figured out why. "Why Sarah, why isn't Jesus enough for you?" I couldn't figure it out. BUT, it hit me. Jesus isn't enough for me, because I don't LET HIM BE. I think to myself about all these things I want God to do for me, when really, I don't just be still and let God be God. We stress ourselves over trying to control things we have absolutely no pull on. We're paranoid about finances, and if we'll ever run outta money. We're obsessive about the opposite sex, and finding a mate.
WHY?
Well...usually when there's an element missing from our spiritual lives, it's probably ourselves. If I'm just not getting anything from daily Bible reading, it's probably because I'm taking myself out of it and not truly listening, absorbing, memorizing. It's because I'm looking for the blessing. It's because I want something from God....with a bad motive. Selfishness. Pride.
We'll never be good enough for God. My whole life that's how I felt. But although everyone else rejects and hurts you because you're not enough. God says He wants us FOR that very reason. He came to take the pain away. And He does. With a love so divine, nothing else could ever compare.
Have you ever just been staring off into space and you start crying? For no reason? Ok, maybe that's just me....but you realize God loves you. How could anyone love me? Nothing can separate us from the love of God. There's such a strong bond between Creator and creation, we're MADE to experience that in a relationship with Christ. That IS why He created us, to love us.
Man....I'm deep thinking tonight.
Back to love... if you grieve someone, you truly loved them. That's all there is to it. On late nights like these it comes back to creep on ya. It creeps up, and before you know it you're stuck missing them for the next few days. You love them. You always will. Maybe it's not in God's plan, but loving others is.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saggy, Wrinkled. Butt Cheeks.
HAHAHAHA. Oh....peopleofwalmart website....have I got a picture for you!!
The walmart cashier was laughing as we were following behind her trying to take her picture. hahaha. She continued laughing as she rang up her transaction. I had to put my hand over my mouth...I couldn't be rude in public. lol. I left telling the clerk to "Have a good night."
Unforgettable.
Monday, May 23, 2011
There's a Snake in my Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...........SERIOUSLY. There WAS a snake in my bed. 5 FOOTER!!!!!!!!!!
Here's the story....
I walk in my room to go to sleep and I toss my Gatorade and journal onto my bed. I go to lift up the corner of the sheets and THERE IS A SNAKE hissing at me!!!!! OMG. It's coiled up on the ledge of my bed ready to strike.
I screamed and ran out of the room like a little school girl.
I really did.
Then my roommate Taylor and friend Daisy immediately put on cowgirl boots and run in there with antique fencing swords ready to battle.
Hilarious. But scary while it was all happening.
The battle commences....
I sit on the kitchen counter holding Taylor's Boston Terrier (Bella) and Jeremy is watching with me from the sidelines...
Taylor and Daisy pull out everything in my room!!! 2 mattresses and the heaviest wooden bed frame. 2 dudes probably couldn't have picked it up. ;)
But seriously...this was the craziest event that's ever taken place in my life. Ever. And I hope it's the last. lol.
So...there's an entertainment type thing/dresser that the snake crawls under. Seriously. We couldn't get the snake to come out from under the bed, and weren't able to kill it under the bed, so now what do we do!!!!???
Well. You stab it in the head. Pretty sure Jeremy did that, then put it in a trashcan and chopped it up in the garage!!!! Funny thing is, he's just as scared of snakes as we are. I told him to be a man and get in there. lol. He didn't. He was like, "So Jeremy, how was your first Date?" "Well............." haha. Poor guy.
Me: "Man, people do this all the time on TV, not in real life!"
Taylor: "They also have special snake hunting tools!!"
Luckily Daisy was in there to keep her sane saying, "He is gonna get you! I don't want you do get bitten (in a sweet caring voice). hahahahahaha.
This was priceless.
Wait...........it almost cost me my life....
I figured we should call my brother, or dad, or animal control.....but for real.
Me: "Where's the phonebook!!??"
Taylor: "Seriously!!?? The Bolivar animal control couldn't catch a friggin' goat running loose in the streets!"
Oh man...I wish I could tell you every single detail of this....but I can't remember. I've probably psychologically blocked out this traumatic event. UGH. There is no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.
It keeps replaying in my mind...
Cowgirl boots + 2 antique fencing swords + XS wifebeaters = snake killing equipment.
Oh, and a trashcan to chop it up in.
On a more serious note.....
Thank the Lord for not letting any of us get bitten.
I hate snakes. Did I mention that? Oh, and so does Taylor, Daisy, and Jeremy. Needless to say, that's what made this story so dramatic.
Most....intense....experience.......................ever.
Thank God it's over. Phew. Goodnight. I couldn't go to bed without blogging this.
Here's the story....
I walk in my room to go to sleep and I toss my Gatorade and journal onto my bed. I go to lift up the corner of the sheets and THERE IS A SNAKE hissing at me!!!!! OMG. It's coiled up on the ledge of my bed ready to strike.
I screamed and ran out of the room like a little school girl.
I really did.
Then my roommate Taylor and friend Daisy immediately put on cowgirl boots and run in there with antique fencing swords ready to battle.
Hilarious. But scary while it was all happening.
The battle commences....
I sit on the kitchen counter holding Taylor's Boston Terrier (Bella) and Jeremy is watching with me from the sidelines...
Taylor and Daisy pull out everything in my room!!! 2 mattresses and the heaviest wooden bed frame. 2 dudes probably couldn't have picked it up. ;)
But seriously...this was the craziest event that's ever taken place in my life. Ever. And I hope it's the last. lol.
So...there's an entertainment type thing/dresser that the snake crawls under. Seriously. We couldn't get the snake to come out from under the bed, and weren't able to kill it under the bed, so now what do we do!!!!???
Well. You stab it in the head. Pretty sure Jeremy did that, then put it in a trashcan and chopped it up in the garage!!!! Funny thing is, he's just as scared of snakes as we are. I told him to be a man and get in there. lol. He didn't. He was like, "So Jeremy, how was your first Date?" "Well............." haha. Poor guy.
Me: "Man, people do this all the time on TV, not in real life!"
Taylor: "They also have special snake hunting tools!!"
Luckily Daisy was in there to keep her sane saying, "He is gonna get you! I don't want you do get bitten (in a sweet caring voice). hahahahahaha.
This was priceless.
Wait...........it almost cost me my life....
I figured we should call my brother, or dad, or animal control.....but for real.
Me: "Where's the phonebook!!??"
Taylor: "Seriously!!?? The Bolivar animal control couldn't catch a friggin' goat running loose in the streets!"
Oh man...I wish I could tell you every single detail of this....but I can't remember. I've probably psychologically blocked out this traumatic event. UGH. There is no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.
It keeps replaying in my mind...
Cowgirl boots + 2 antique fencing swords + XS wifebeaters = snake killing equipment.
Oh, and a trashcan to chop it up in.
On a more serious note.....
Thank the Lord for not letting any of us get bitten.
I hate snakes. Did I mention that? Oh, and so does Taylor, Daisy, and Jeremy. Needless to say, that's what made this story so dramatic.
Most....intense....experience.......................ever.
Thank God it's over. Phew. Goodnight. I couldn't go to bed without blogging this.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
"The Cook's Kettle" Experience.
Yesterday the Morrisville Assembly of God College and Career group got to take over the Victory Mission service at The Cook's Kettle on Commercial Street.
Here's my experience:
I got to play guitar on stage for the first time ever!! Man. What a mix of emotions and exhilaration. Being able to put together a worship team on the spot was pretty cool. For only having a week's notice we did great! We sang three worship songs and then "Lean on Me" which went perfect with the message preached.
Aside from worship, this was a very different type setting for a church service. You have about 30 to 40 homeless men and women (very few women), and maybe a few younger people in there as well. Working at Walgreens on the north side of town has allowed me to see a different type of clientele, so I guess you could say that's what I experienced here as well.
It was very fun though! The worship and message were very good, and I think a lot of them received it! The passage was Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight". A few people came up for prayer and to talk to us after service. It was awesome. :)
Such a simple message, with powerful meaning.
THEN, our group went downtown to the Bistro Market. Such a cool place!!! I thought I was going to eat at the grocery store, then I realized they had a salad bar and buffet too. lol. Anyway.........it's nice getting to know new people. Especially ones that go to school and work just like you. They understand you. They love music like you do. Ultimately, they love the Lord like you do. Engaging Jesus conversations, and a place where you feel like you fit in.
I couldn't ask for more.
And I can't wait to go again in a month.
Here's my experience:
I got to play guitar on stage for the first time ever!! Man. What a mix of emotions and exhilaration. Being able to put together a worship team on the spot was pretty cool. For only having a week's notice we did great! We sang three worship songs and then "Lean on Me" which went perfect with the message preached.
Aside from worship, this was a very different type setting for a church service. You have about 30 to 40 homeless men and women (very few women), and maybe a few younger people in there as well. Working at Walgreens on the north side of town has allowed me to see a different type of clientele, so I guess you could say that's what I experienced here as well.
It was very fun though! The worship and message were very good, and I think a lot of them received it! The passage was Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight". A few people came up for prayer and to talk to us after service. It was awesome. :)
Such a simple message, with powerful meaning.
THEN, our group went downtown to the Bistro Market. Such a cool place!!! I thought I was going to eat at the grocery store, then I realized they had a salad bar and buffet too. lol. Anyway.........it's nice getting to know new people. Especially ones that go to school and work just like you. They understand you. They love music like you do. Ultimately, they love the Lord like you do. Engaging Jesus conversations, and a place where you feel like you fit in.
I couldn't ask for more.
And I can't wait to go again in a month.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Toil is Meaningless.
I think I've realized what it means to be a Christian.
.....to grow stronger everyday in my walk with the Lord.
You're thinking, "Duh, Sarah. That's an easy one."
Well...is it really??
I opened to Ecclesiastes. I love all the wisdom and poetic books of the Bible! Anyway, I decide that I was going to read Ecc. today. "Everything is meaningless", such sarcasm, yet humor. My kind of book. :)
Ecclesiastes 2: Toil is Meaningless
Storytime..
Last night at work the wind was gusting and it was raining hard. Well, the glass in front of the Walgreens emblem blew in and glass broke everywhere. We didn't even close the store!! So I run and get 15 carts and a guy I work with helps me flip them over and put yellow rope around them so customers wouldn't walk under the glass fixture. People still tried!!! I question customer service everyday of my life. People..........love/hate relationships....... GAH.
Anyway, moral of the story: Toil is Meaningless. Just like Ecclesiastes says.
It's meaningless for me to go to work everyday hating it. Dreading it. And it's meaningless to NOT work hard. God put me there for a reason. Being light in the darkness isn't exactly easy...nor is it supposed to be.
"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work." -Ecc. 2:24
Sarah.........eat, drink, and enjoy life. Enjoy having a job. Many don't.
"This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" -verse 25
So true.
I MUST find satisfaction in my job. I have to find a way to stop hating it, and letting it cause my life misery.
"To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth over to the one who pleases God."
"This too is meaningless and chasing after the wind." - Ecc. 2:26
I guess....I just don't want to waste my time. Sometimes I feel like that's what I'm doing at Walgreens. Wasting my time for little money that barely helps me survive. Being unappreciated there, and being annoyed by customers everyday....
Toil is Meaningless.
But at this point in my life, the opening line of Ecclesiastes fits perfectly, "So, I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me."
Yep. Life isn't always peaches and cream, but God is still God, nonetheless.
Toil is Meaningless....
.....to grow stronger everyday in my walk with the Lord.
You're thinking, "Duh, Sarah. That's an easy one."
Well...is it really??
I opened to Ecclesiastes. I love all the wisdom and poetic books of the Bible! Anyway, I decide that I was going to read Ecc. today. "Everything is meaningless", such sarcasm, yet humor. My kind of book. :)
Ecclesiastes 2: Toil is Meaningless
Storytime..
Last night at work the wind was gusting and it was raining hard. Well, the glass in front of the Walgreens emblem blew in and glass broke everywhere. We didn't even close the store!! So I run and get 15 carts and a guy I work with helps me flip them over and put yellow rope around them so customers wouldn't walk under the glass fixture. People still tried!!! I question customer service everyday of my life. People..........love/hate relationships....... GAH.
Anyway, moral of the story: Toil is Meaningless. Just like Ecclesiastes says.
It's meaningless for me to go to work everyday hating it. Dreading it. And it's meaningless to NOT work hard. God put me there for a reason. Being light in the darkness isn't exactly easy...nor is it supposed to be.
"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work." -Ecc. 2:24
Sarah.........eat, drink, and enjoy life. Enjoy having a job. Many don't.
"This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?" -verse 25
So true.
I MUST find satisfaction in my job. I have to find a way to stop hating it, and letting it cause my life misery.
"To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth over to the one who pleases God."
"This too is meaningless and chasing after the wind." - Ecc. 2:26
I guess....I just don't want to waste my time. Sometimes I feel like that's what I'm doing at Walgreens. Wasting my time for little money that barely helps me survive. Being unappreciated there, and being annoyed by customers everyday....
Toil is Meaningless.
But at this point in my life, the opening line of Ecclesiastes fits perfectly, "So, I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me."
Yep. Life isn't always peaches and cream, but God is still God, nonetheless.
Toil is Meaningless....
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
There is No Condemnation.
Deep thought of the day: Is a person known by the goodness, or evilness of their heart? The good and loving things within them, or the bad sinful things?
I have a friend whose grandmother is in the hospital dying right now. So, I'm sitting here pondering the meaning of life, and death. It actually isn't morbid. It's enlightening. I realized, if I were to die today, or tomorrow, or WHEN I DO die, what would I have left behind in the world? A peaceful heart....or a turmoiled heart.
Some realizations:
- I have a lot of bitterness.
- I have a lot of anger.
- I have a lot of resentment.
Sometimes people get the best of me.
However, I also have within my heart:
- Appreciation
- Admiration
- Envy
- Judgment
All these things.....most of them contradict. So, how is that possible? To have a loving heart, yet filled with so much evil? There are good, but there are definitely bad. Unfortunately, there will always be bad things in our hearts if we don't let God handle them, and if we don't face the trembling fear that repentance brings.
God,
I'm sorry for making my heart hardened towards others.
I'm sorry for harboring all this hatred and anger.
Although others see the outside, the chipper voice and "happy" face I portray, only God really knows the depth of my soul and the condition of my heart.
It's evident that my state of mind is becoming more clear.
I've realized being emerged in people brings out the worst in me...
I like isolation, but I don't like feeling alone....
Then again, feelings are irrelevant.
The only reason I'm in the current state I'm in, and the only reason people feel stuck about their situation is because they fail to see their other options.
With God there are always options, and probably more than one.
God = freedom.
This summer, I'm declaring freedom.
Freedom from myself and the hurtful things I put myself through.
I'm declaring freedom from my evil heart. The evil desires of my heart. The fleshly desires of my body.
No more bondage.
The Holy Spirit gives us the power to conquer sin.
Today I was led to Romans again......
"Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-2
Although my friends grandmother is dying....the impact of her loving heart still lives on. I hope it's like that when I die. I don't want to be known for the evil or bad things in my heart. I won't.
The spirit of God has set us free. If we follow God and are led by His Holy Spirit, THERE IS NO CONDEMNATION. None whatsoever. Just like the verse says.
I have a friend whose grandmother is in the hospital dying right now. So, I'm sitting here pondering the meaning of life, and death. It actually isn't morbid. It's enlightening. I realized, if I were to die today, or tomorrow, or WHEN I DO die, what would I have left behind in the world? A peaceful heart....or a turmoiled heart.
Some realizations:
- I have a lot of bitterness.
- I have a lot of anger.
- I have a lot of resentment.
Sometimes people get the best of me.
However, I also have within my heart:
- Appreciation
- Admiration
- Envy
- Judgment
All these things.....most of them contradict. So, how is that possible? To have a loving heart, yet filled with so much evil? There are good, but there are definitely bad. Unfortunately, there will always be bad things in our hearts if we don't let God handle them, and if we don't face the trembling fear that repentance brings.
God,
I'm sorry for making my heart hardened towards others.
I'm sorry for harboring all this hatred and anger.
Although others see the outside, the chipper voice and "happy" face I portray, only God really knows the depth of my soul and the condition of my heart.
It's evident that my state of mind is becoming more clear.
I've realized being emerged in people brings out the worst in me...
I like isolation, but I don't like feeling alone....
Then again, feelings are irrelevant.
The only reason I'm in the current state I'm in, and the only reason people feel stuck about their situation is because they fail to see their other options.
With God there are always options, and probably more than one.
God = freedom.
This summer, I'm declaring freedom.
Freedom from myself and the hurtful things I put myself through.
I'm declaring freedom from my evil heart. The evil desires of my heart. The fleshly desires of my body.
No more bondage.
The Holy Spirit gives us the power to conquer sin.
Today I was led to Romans again......
"Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." - Romans 8:1-2
Although my friends grandmother is dying....the impact of her loving heart still lives on. I hope it's like that when I die. I don't want to be known for the evil or bad things in my heart. I won't.
The spirit of God has set us free. If we follow God and are led by His Holy Spirit, THERE IS NO CONDEMNATION. None whatsoever. Just like the verse says.
Monday, May 9, 2011
"The Righteous Will Live By Faith"
I open the Bible and it's Romans. As I start reading, I realize Paul is writing to the church in Rome. He longs to visit them, and he speaks about faith.
Maybe I've been lacking in faith?
The Holy Spirit spoke to me:
"Do you have faith that you'll get the job?"
"Yes."
"Do you have faith that you'll marry him?"
"Yes."
"Do you have faith that you'll lose weight?"
"Yes."
If we believe, IT WILL HAPPEN.
If we're obedient, it will happen.
Paul says, "we received grace and apostleship to call people from among the gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." -Romans 1:5
OBEDIENCE COMES FROM FAITH.
I can't repeat that enough. If we're DISobedient, we lack faith. If we lack faith, then it will NEVER happen.
Such a simple concept, yet such an overlooked idea.
Paul then writes, "First, I think my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world." -Romans 1:8
I want my faith to be reported all over the world.
Rome obviously had great faith.
"...that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." -Romans 1:12
Faith brings encouragement to other people.
"For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."
Yeah Sarah.
"The righteous will live by faith."
Maybe I've been lacking in faith?
The Holy Spirit spoke to me:
"Do you have faith that you'll get the job?"
"Yes."
"Do you have faith that you'll marry him?"
"Yes."
"Do you have faith that you'll lose weight?"
"Yes."
If we believe, IT WILL HAPPEN.
If we're obedient, it will happen.
Paul says, "we received grace and apostleship to call people from among the gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." -Romans 1:5
OBEDIENCE COMES FROM FAITH.
I can't repeat that enough. If we're DISobedient, we lack faith. If we lack faith, then it will NEVER happen.
Such a simple concept, yet such an overlooked idea.
Paul then writes, "First, I think my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world." -Romans 1:8
I want my faith to be reported all over the world.
Rome obviously had great faith.
"...that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." -Romans 1:12
Faith brings encouragement to other people.
"For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."
Yeah Sarah.
"The righteous will live by faith."
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